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General Parenting
Question: How Do You Fight that "Knee-Jerk Reaction" to difficult children?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 395870"><p>Definitely been there many times. I have found that it is really important to keep track of how I am doing with life in general. If I am stressed out, either by my difficult child, by things at work, or other stresses than my tolerance for my difficult child and his behavior is much much lower. It is much harder for me to stay calm. Unfortunately for my easy child child this is true for me with her too.... so if my difficult child was stressing me out, sometimes I wouuld hold it in around him because I didn't want a blow out but then lose it with her for a much smaller infraction. That always made me feel really bad and I would need to apologize to her. Things are so so much easier in all regards now that my difficult child is out of the house.</p><p></p><p>So my advice is to really take care of yourself.... it will be easier to keep your cool if you do. And also have clear consequences set out that are agreed upon (or at least acknowledged) and then follow through... I have found I can stay calmer when I know what to do with a certain behavior. I am more likely to lose it when I am frustrated and don't know how to react in the moment.</p><p></p><p>I say this like I know what I am doing and always do the things I say... believe me I don't. BUT I do know these things help me handle things better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 395870"] Definitely been there many times. I have found that it is really important to keep track of how I am doing with life in general. If I am stressed out, either by my difficult child, by things at work, or other stresses than my tolerance for my difficult child and his behavior is much much lower. It is much harder for me to stay calm. Unfortunately for my easy child child this is true for me with her too.... so if my difficult child was stressing me out, sometimes I wouuld hold it in around him because I didn't want a blow out but then lose it with her for a much smaller infraction. That always made me feel really bad and I would need to apologize to her. Things are so so much easier in all regards now that my difficult child is out of the house. So my advice is to really take care of yourself.... it will be easier to keep your cool if you do. And also have clear consequences set out that are agreed upon (or at least acknowledged) and then follow through... I have found I can stay calmer when I know what to do with a certain behavior. I am more likely to lose it when I am frustrated and don't know how to react in the moment. I say this like I know what I am doing and always do the things I say... believe me I don't. BUT I do know these things help me handle things better. [/QUOTE]
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Question: How Do You Fight that "Knee-Jerk Reaction" to difficult children?
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