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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 536470" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>For us, it's far more then strong will and no leadership skills. She can not lead by any means. She can not problem solve at all. She follows any and everyone and if it's a bad thing, she surely picks it up and does it as well as copy cat things. She tends to be a hypochondriac with everything always wrong to the point that at times it's dangerous. Like with medication side effects. Because I I have to take a wait and see approach with her, this is where the danger is. She failed all 3 mood stabilizers. She has basically failed many medications. The only things we have her on now is a stimulant to control the ADHD symptoms (and we can't use any other or change dose or she gets a tick or another medication doesn't work) and clonidine for sleep, which doesn't even always work properly because she can't always get to sleep good and surely doesn't always stay asleep and that I think is mostly because her brain is always "on" in foraging mode because she will always come down through the night rummaging for food. I think it's now trained to do so and that's why she wakes up as it's the only thing she does when she gets up. We have no other options on medications it seems. </p><p></p><p>The brain injury is the complicating factor as it has yet to be officially diagnosed. I "know" that it must be there because cognitively she just doesn't get so much that she should, her brain just doesn't process things right at all. It's like dealing with a child of 15 who has some MR issues yet on paper she doesn't (as in psychological testing). This all breaks my heart because she is always (underlying) a sunny dispositioned child since birth, very sociable (I call her a social butterfly) and people are naturally attracted to her because of this. But the darker side that the general world does not see is the rages, the anger, the horrendous mouth and attitude we get at home (the workers see and she will display this in public when we are out). The school and peers can see the controlling however. So she CAN control the raging and mouth (though she will get into it with peers at times-ie bullying) at school! She gets angry at school but will not let it out like she does at home. I get that she feels "safe" to do so at home. </p><p></p><p>As for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing too, it's funny to the worker that at school she must organize and have her classroom and things perfect and clean but at home, omg, the house is a cluttered mess all over the place! Generally the mess in the house (what causes the house to be a mess) is from her. What ever she drops (clothes, books, dishes, etc) or does she creates a mess and just leaves right then and there. You can literally see where she has been. Her room.....looks like a hoarder lives in it! No joke! I can't tell you how many times we've cleaned it out only for her to accumulate "stuff" again. She collects things like crazy. I'm about ready to bring her down to 5 outfits of clothes and ditch the rest as I can't stand it anymore but then there is hygiene issues and well....I can't. As it is she has to have her mattress and box spring on the floor because of her hoarding of food and even that is risky as she stuffs food under that too. We've had pb&j smashed into the carpet under that! EWWW. A dresser in room? She doesn't even used it! Clean clothes she will take up and literally just throw on floor. If I have her keep them down here then she rifles through them and they scatter all over the house.</p><p></p><p>The issues are really far too many. I'd probably end up writing a book over it. I try to appreciate the good things about her each day and make it through to the next. I try to give her opportunities each day to reach for new things as well. I'm trying to get her to "earn" things she wants instead of demanding everything but of course that is not working either as she (and I hate using the word) is lazy. She expects everything to be given to her and when others are getting stuff through earning she gets seriously jealous.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 536470, member: 455"] For us, it's far more then strong will and no leadership skills. She can not lead by any means. She can not problem solve at all. She follows any and everyone and if it's a bad thing, she surely picks it up and does it as well as copy cat things. She tends to be a hypochondriac with everything always wrong to the point that at times it's dangerous. Like with medication side effects. Because I I have to take a wait and see approach with her, this is where the danger is. She failed all 3 mood stabilizers. She has basically failed many medications. The only things we have her on now is a stimulant to control the ADHD symptoms (and we can't use any other or change dose or she gets a tick or another medication doesn't work) and clonidine for sleep, which doesn't even always work properly because she can't always get to sleep good and surely doesn't always stay asleep and that I think is mostly because her brain is always "on" in foraging mode because she will always come down through the night rummaging for food. I think it's now trained to do so and that's why she wakes up as it's the only thing she does when she gets up. We have no other options on medications it seems. The brain injury is the complicating factor as it has yet to be officially diagnosed. I "know" that it must be there because cognitively she just doesn't get so much that she should, her brain just doesn't process things right at all. It's like dealing with a child of 15 who has some MR issues yet on paper she doesn't (as in psychological testing). This all breaks my heart because she is always (underlying) a sunny dispositioned child since birth, very sociable (I call her a social butterfly) and people are naturally attracted to her because of this. But the darker side that the general world does not see is the rages, the anger, the horrendous mouth and attitude we get at home (the workers see and she will display this in public when we are out). The school and peers can see the controlling however. So she CAN control the raging and mouth (though she will get into it with peers at times-ie bullying) at school! She gets angry at school but will not let it out like she does at home. I get that she feels "safe" to do so at home. As for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing too, it's funny to the worker that at school she must organize and have her classroom and things perfect and clean but at home, omg, the house is a cluttered mess all over the place! Generally the mess in the house (what causes the house to be a mess) is from her. What ever she drops (clothes, books, dishes, etc) or does she creates a mess and just leaves right then and there. You can literally see where she has been. Her room.....looks like a hoarder lives in it! No joke! I can't tell you how many times we've cleaned it out only for her to accumulate "stuff" again. She collects things like crazy. I'm about ready to bring her down to 5 outfits of clothes and ditch the rest as I can't stand it anymore but then there is hygiene issues and well....I can't. As it is she has to have her mattress and box spring on the floor because of her hoarding of food and even that is risky as she stuffs food under that too. We've had pb&j smashed into the carpet under that! EWWW. A dresser in room? She doesn't even used it! Clean clothes she will take up and literally just throw on floor. If I have her keep them down here then she rifles through them and they scatter all over the house. The issues are really far too many. I'd probably end up writing a book over it. I try to appreciate the good things about her each day and make it through to the next. I try to give her opportunities each day to reach for new things as well. I'm trying to get her to "earn" things she wants instead of demanding everything but of course that is not working either as she (and I hate using the word) is lazy. She expects everything to be given to her and when others are getting stuff through earning she gets seriously jealous. [/QUOTE]
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