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Question: What has life been like for you after the difficult child era is over?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 544866" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>I have to echo what Witz and Hound have said. </p><p></p><p>I know that feeling you describe, emptiness...like something is missing, not quite what comes next for you.</p><p></p><p>This is your time. Part of what you've worked so hard for all these years was to help your difficult child develop an ability to advocate for him/herself and be motivated to make something of their lives. At a certain point, it truly is up to them to take the reins of their own life and future...and then you a able to turn the focus onto yourself. For me, I went back to college, I took up crocheting, I had to relearn how to spend time alone with H again (which honestly was difficult).</p><p></p><p>Your relationship with your child(red) will evolve as they begin to make and live with their own choices and you with yours. I'm very close with both my girls but each in a different way. I think with difficult child, we know one another better, understand and accept one another better. With easy child, there are conditions on our relationship. She has higher expectations of me as a mom and a friend and she tends to think she is perfect a lot of the time. difficult child can acknowledge when she is wrong much more easily nowadays whereas easy child, not so much, lol. But you evolve as a parent and learn to accept them as they are and not allow them to be the center of your world, which after 18-22 years is quite refreshing. </p><p></p><p>Initially I think mine were so surprised that I had created a social life for myself...that I met my BFF for coffee or went out for dinner with another friend. When H and I are headed out for an evening, we sometimes will toy with the idea of asking one or both girls to join us but then usually decide, "Nah" and enjoy the moments on our own. </p><p></p><p>Take your time about building this new life for yourself. Reflect on what you enjoyed before difficult child and see if you're still interested. Think about something you've always been interested in but never had time...check it out. Eventually, you will learn to love the freedom that comes with being an adult without the constraints of parenting!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 544866, member: 2211"] I have to echo what Witz and Hound have said. I know that feeling you describe, emptiness...like something is missing, not quite what comes next for you. This is your time. Part of what you've worked so hard for all these years was to help your difficult child develop an ability to advocate for him/herself and be motivated to make something of their lives. At a certain point, it truly is up to them to take the reins of their own life and future...and then you a able to turn the focus onto yourself. For me, I went back to college, I took up crocheting, I had to relearn how to spend time alone with H again (which honestly was difficult). Your relationship with your child(red) will evolve as they begin to make and live with their own choices and you with yours. I'm very close with both my girls but each in a different way. I think with difficult child, we know one another better, understand and accept one another better. With easy child, there are conditions on our relationship. She has higher expectations of me as a mom and a friend and she tends to think she is perfect a lot of the time. difficult child can acknowledge when she is wrong much more easily nowadays whereas easy child, not so much, lol. But you evolve as a parent and learn to accept them as they are and not allow them to be the center of your world, which after 18-22 years is quite refreshing. Initially I think mine were so surprised that I had created a social life for myself...that I met my BFF for coffee or went out for dinner with another friend. When H and I are headed out for an evening, we sometimes will toy with the idea of asking one or both girls to join us but then usually decide, "Nah" and enjoy the moments on our own. Take your time about building this new life for yourself. Reflect on what you enjoyed before difficult child and see if you're still interested. Think about something you've always been interested in but never had time...check it out. Eventually, you will learn to love the freedom that comes with being an adult without the constraints of parenting! [/QUOTE]
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Question: What has life been like for you after the difficult child era is over?
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