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General Parenting
Quick teacher conference help!?!
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<blockquote data-quote="BestICan" data-source="post: 36329" data-attributes="member: 3413"><p>In this emotionally charged situation, my advice is to be as non-confrontational as possible. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure who called the meeting or what the stated goal is, but I would suggest a) allowing the teacher to vent (he probably needs to) and b) gathering as much information as possible. You don't need to decide anything or accuse anyone of anything - you'll likely need time to think and compose your thoughts after the conversation. </p><p></p><p>I personally find my difficult child's teacher very unenlightened and annoying, but I make it very clear that I'm working WITH her because otherwise it would be detrimental to my son. So when I meet with her, I ask a lot of questions. If she says he's being uncooperative, I'll ask her for specific examples. I say "And then what happened?" a few times, just to make sure I'm getting the whole picture, not just the emotionally-laden highlights. I ask about trends - "Was this incident unusually bad, or is this a common occurence?" </p><p></p><p>I think, rather than accuse the teacher of acting rashly, I might ask, "How have you handled this kind of behavior before with other students?" and "What seems to be the most effective way of dealing with this, in your opinion?" You don't have to like his answer but you're giving him a chance to show you whether or not he's put any REAL thought into this kind of behavior mod, or if he's just reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.</p><p></p><p>I think it's OK to tell him that you're working on this at home and with difficult child's therapist (if that's so) and that you'll talk to your son and follow up with the teacher as needed. What else can he ask of you? </p><p></p><p>I would then go home and think about it. Then, if you feel the teacher should be handling things differently, you can follow up with another meeting, or a letter to the teacher with a CC to the principal. </p><p></p><p>Hope that's helpful...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BestICan, post: 36329, member: 3413"] In this emotionally charged situation, my advice is to be as non-confrontational as possible. I'm not sure who called the meeting or what the stated goal is, but I would suggest a) allowing the teacher to vent (he probably needs to) and b) gathering as much information as possible. You don't need to decide anything or accuse anyone of anything - you'll likely need time to think and compose your thoughts after the conversation. I personally find my difficult child's teacher very unenlightened and annoying, but I make it very clear that I'm working WITH her because otherwise it would be detrimental to my son. So when I meet with her, I ask a lot of questions. If she says he's being uncooperative, I'll ask her for specific examples. I say "And then what happened?" a few times, just to make sure I'm getting the whole picture, not just the emotionally-laden highlights. I ask about trends - "Was this incident unusually bad, or is this a common occurence?" I think, rather than accuse the teacher of acting rashly, I might ask, "How have you handled this kind of behavior before with other students?" and "What seems to be the most effective way of dealing with this, in your opinion?" You don't have to like his answer but you're giving him a chance to show you whether or not he's put any REAL thought into this kind of behavior mod, or if he's just reacting in a knee-jerk fashion. I think it's OK to tell him that you're working on this at home and with difficult child's therapist (if that's so) and that you'll talk to your son and follow up with the teacher as needed. What else can he ask of you? I would then go home and think about it. Then, if you feel the teacher should be handling things differently, you can follow up with another meeting, or a letter to the teacher with a CC to the principal. Hope that's helpful... [/QUOTE]
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