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Failure to Thrive
Radical Compassion
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<blockquote data-quote="savior no more" data-source="post: 682334" data-attributes="member: 19838"><p>You are right. Part of what I grapple with is now knowing when he was so young and not knowing how impaired he was and not protecting him and setting boundaries. I guess part of me is still trying to find the rewind button and play the tune perfectly again with the "right" tempo. Like if I just had started earlier his path would be different. I think at some point an honest look at a "searching and fearless moral inventory" of my parenting is okay, but morose guilt and shame won't help me or him today. My basic parenting lacked due to my own weak boundaries and not knowing when harm was coming.</p><p></p><p> I feel this feeling right now as I see him sitting in jail possibly looking at a 30 year sentence and wondering if there is any way and how to protect him from himself and a system that doesn't appear to understand his problems. Or maybe the system does and I don't. Does that make sense? </p><p></p><p>I'm tired after working a 12 hour shift, so I guess just best to close this painful subject of my hidden pain and get some sleep. I appreciate the time you take to respond which jogs my feelings with more insight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="savior no more, post: 682334, member: 19838"] You are right. Part of what I grapple with is now knowing when he was so young and not knowing how impaired he was and not protecting him and setting boundaries. I guess part of me is still trying to find the rewind button and play the tune perfectly again with the "right" tempo. Like if I just had started earlier his path would be different. I think at some point an honest look at a "searching and fearless moral inventory" of my parenting is okay, but morose guilt and shame won't help me or him today. My basic parenting lacked due to my own weak boundaries and not knowing when harm was coming. I feel this feeling right now as I see him sitting in jail possibly looking at a 30 year sentence and wondering if there is any way and how to protect him from himself and a system that doesn't appear to understand his problems. Or maybe the system does and I don't. Does that make sense? I'm tired after working a 12 hour shift, so I guess just best to close this painful subject of my hidden pain and get some sleep. I appreciate the time you take to respond which jogs my feelings with more insight. [/QUOTE]
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