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General Parenting
Rages,violence,depression???
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<blockquote data-quote="Gramma" data-source="post: 76815" data-attributes="member: 4061"><p>I know the rages well. For the most part neither difficult child 2 nor any of us were safe from these rages. A rage started with something simple like being asked to brush her teeth, pick up her toys, get ready for school, do her homework, stop doing whatever it was she was doing that she wasn't supposed to be doing. I dreaded any interaction with her as on bad days, even a "look" would set her off. She was violent. She bit us, hit us, kicked us, threw whatever was handy at us, threatened to kill us in our sleep or herself. </p><p></p><p>This child could scream a blood curdling scream non-stop for over three hours almost without taking a breath. Her rages lasted up to 6 hours and left us completely exhausted. We as a family, would lose any sense of normalcy during her rages. Our world centered around her: 1. to get her to shut up 2. to keep her from hurting herself.</p><p></p><p>She would inflict serious injury to herself and not seem to notice the pain. From a standing position, she would fall stiff as a board onto the ceramic tile floor, hitting her head. She pounded her head into anything hard, bit and scratched herself until she bled, would choke herself until she had handmarks around her neck and she would turn blueish and pulled her hair out in clumps. There was no chance for redirecting until the rage was completely over. For the first maybe 4 years she wasn't on any medications and didn't see a counselor. </p><p></p><p>Finally, out of desperation, we got her a counselor that thought she was scratching the surface, but the counselor took a job closer to her home and we were stuck with a new counselor that knew everything, but nothing. Had no clue what made kids tick as she didn't have any herself. difficult child 2 started sliding backwards, medications were introduced. They didn't help, husband took her off them and she did somewhat better. Lost our state medical, so lost our counseling, too. We are now without counseling for any of our difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Although she doesn't rage anymore like she did, she still has the capability to do so. When she is upset, I see it in her eyes and then we double dance to fix whatever was wrong in her eyes so she doesn't rage again. This week-end, she tried choking herself again because she was blamed for something and again later when she was tattled on. I had hoped we were through that, but I guess not. We walk on egg shells and are constantly double guessing anything we say or do so as to not upset her.</p><p></p><p>I believe in medications, just can't afford the private counseling and medication dr to get any. Then it is trial and error to find the right cocktail that will work on her.</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you. I am sure you are beyond exhausted. I wish I could give you some hope to cling to, but I am still searching myself. Just know that someone out here really does understand what you are going through. Others outside of the home (teachers, etc.) may act as if you are making all this up, but I know you aren't. Hang in there. Maybe when she is a bit older, she may slow down her rages, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gramma, post: 76815, member: 4061"] I know the rages well. For the most part neither difficult child 2 nor any of us were safe from these rages. A rage started with something simple like being asked to brush her teeth, pick up her toys, get ready for school, do her homework, stop doing whatever it was she was doing that she wasn't supposed to be doing. I dreaded any interaction with her as on bad days, even a "look" would set her off. She was violent. She bit us, hit us, kicked us, threw whatever was handy at us, threatened to kill us in our sleep or herself. This child could scream a blood curdling scream non-stop for over three hours almost without taking a breath. Her rages lasted up to 6 hours and left us completely exhausted. We as a family, would lose any sense of normalcy during her rages. Our world centered around her: 1. to get her to shut up 2. to keep her from hurting herself. She would inflict serious injury to herself and not seem to notice the pain. From a standing position, she would fall stiff as a board onto the ceramic tile floor, hitting her head. She pounded her head into anything hard, bit and scratched herself until she bled, would choke herself until she had handmarks around her neck and she would turn blueish and pulled her hair out in clumps. There was no chance for redirecting until the rage was completely over. For the first maybe 4 years she wasn't on any medications and didn't see a counselor. Finally, out of desperation, we got her a counselor that thought she was scratching the surface, but the counselor took a job closer to her home and we were stuck with a new counselor that knew everything, but nothing. Had no clue what made kids tick as she didn't have any herself. difficult child 2 started sliding backwards, medications were introduced. They didn't help, husband took her off them and she did somewhat better. Lost our state medical, so lost our counseling, too. We are now without counseling for any of our difficult children. Although she doesn't rage anymore like she did, she still has the capability to do so. When she is upset, I see it in her eyes and then we double dance to fix whatever was wrong in her eyes so she doesn't rage again. This week-end, she tried choking herself again because she was blamed for something and again later when she was tattled on. I had hoped we were through that, but I guess not. We walk on egg shells and are constantly double guessing anything we say or do so as to not upset her. I believe in medications, just can't afford the private counseling and medication dr to get any. Then it is trial and error to find the right cocktail that will work on her. My heart goes out to you. I am sure you are beyond exhausted. I wish I could give you some hope to cling to, but I am still searching myself. Just know that someone out here really does understand what you are going through. Others outside of the home (teachers, etc.) may act as if you are making all this up, but I know you aren't. Hang in there. Maybe when she is a bit older, she may slow down her rages, too. [/QUOTE]
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