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Raising PCs When You Have a difficult child in the family
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 598856" data-attributes="member: 15810"><p>This is something that I think about alot. I think that it's harder when the easy child is the younger child and they have to sit there and watch the things that the older difficult child does. </p><p></p><p>Now that easy child is 9 he's really coming into his own. He has his own friends and his own interests, some of which are similar to difficult child, and some of which are not. difficult child gets angry with us and with easy child at times because easy child's sports take up alot of time and and difficult child wants easy child here at home to help entertain him. We tell easy child all the time that if he wants to play sports, or ride his bike or go out and play with his friends then that is what he should do. I have tried very hard to make sure easy child understands that he is not required to entertain difficult child, regardless of what difficult child tells him. I think encouraging easy child to do and play what he wants has been good for him. It gets him it of the house and away from his brother so they have some separation, which makes the time that they do spend together more tolerable to easy child.</p><p></p><p>The hardest part, I think, is when difficult child tries to parent easy child because he's the older brother and he thinks that easy child has to do anything and everything that difficult child tells him to do. I actually don't like to discipline easy child in front of difficult child because then difficult child starts with repeating what I've said and trying to administer punishment. I know when easy child needs to be spoken to about things, but I don't like to add insult to injury by having to subject him to difficult child's "parenting."</p><p></p><p>I do try to make sure that easy child is comforted during and afte difficult child's raging meltdowns. They are frightening, even to me, and I try to make sure that easy child knows he is safe, although there are times when everyone's safety is a concern of mine.</p><p></p><p>I do worry about easy child. Alot! I don't want easy child to grow up and think that he should be someone's door mat because that is how difficult child has treated him for many years. That's gotten a little better, although it's not great, because if easy child doesn't like the way he is being treated he will get up and walk away, many times resulting in a meltdown.</p><p></p><p>Basically, like everyone else, I'm doing the best I can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 598856, member: 15810"] This is something that I think about alot. I think that it's harder when the easy child is the younger child and they have to sit there and watch the things that the older difficult child does. Now that easy child is 9 he's really coming into his own. He has his own friends and his own interests, some of which are similar to difficult child, and some of which are not. difficult child gets angry with us and with easy child at times because easy child's sports take up alot of time and and difficult child wants easy child here at home to help entertain him. We tell easy child all the time that if he wants to play sports, or ride his bike or go out and play with his friends then that is what he should do. I have tried very hard to make sure easy child understands that he is not required to entertain difficult child, regardless of what difficult child tells him. I think encouraging easy child to do and play what he wants has been good for him. It gets him it of the house and away from his brother so they have some separation, which makes the time that they do spend together more tolerable to easy child. The hardest part, I think, is when difficult child tries to parent easy child because he's the older brother and he thinks that easy child has to do anything and everything that difficult child tells him to do. I actually don't like to discipline easy child in front of difficult child because then difficult child starts with repeating what I've said and trying to administer punishment. I know when easy child needs to be spoken to about things, but I don't like to add insult to injury by having to subject him to difficult child's "parenting." I do try to make sure that easy child is comforted during and afte difficult child's raging meltdowns. They are frightening, even to me, and I try to make sure that easy child knows he is safe, although there are times when everyone's safety is a concern of mine. I do worry about easy child. Alot! I don't want easy child to grow up and think that he should be someone's door mat because that is how difficult child has treated him for many years. That's gotten a little better, although it's not great, because if easy child doesn't like the way he is being treated he will get up and walk away, many times resulting in a meltdown. Basically, like everyone else, I'm doing the best I can. [/QUOTE]
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