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Special Ed 101
RAS evaluation is finally done and ???
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 409684" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>I know that bruised forehead feeling. That's why I have an advocate coming to my son's IEP meeting next Tuesday. I'm not sure what will be decided and I'm not even sure what I think is the right placement for difficult child 2. His psychiatrist says he should be in an ED classroom but when he's at school he does "fine". </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I really understand the impulse to "tell" the SD what your child needs. I haven't found that it works very well here. What has worked better for me is to just ask questions. This seems to put them off their stride. Rather than say "my son needs a 1 on 1 aide" you might ask how are they going to teach him to advocate for himself when he doesn't understand the directions or how are they going to ensure he completes the work he is supposed to do during the school day? In what circumstances has he learned or cooperated or done what was asked of him? How do we extend that to longer periods of time? What happens if you use a lot of visual teaching techniques or materials instead of verbal/written ones? Etc.</p><p></p><p>You want them to engage with the idea that this child is teachable and they can figure out how to do it. If possible (Ok call me an idealist) you want them to get excited about the idea they *can* help him learn and grow. You want to help them see your child through your eyes - that he has potential and will make them proud. He is willing to do his part but he has these challenges that make it hard for him to show that side to them. </p><p></p><p>Telling them what he needs won't do this. But, as I know quite well, it may be all that you're left with if they are going to be stubborn. </p><p></p><p>Does your difficult child attend the IEP meetings? Cause the other thing I have found is that the one time I was able to get my difficult child 2 to attend the meeting it made a huge difference in the dynamics of the meeting. Don't know if the same thing would happen for you but I thought I'd mention it.</p><p></p><p>Even if difficult child doesn't say a lot it's much harder to talk about someone as if they are "bad" or impossible to work with when they are sitting right there at the table. If your difficult child can speak for himself it would be great - provided he doesn't go off on them in a way that will undermine your position. If he can say he feels frustrated, lost, isn't sure what he's supposed to be doing most of the time, who to ask for help, how to ask for help - whatever - it may really help shift the focus. If he could come even briefly but he doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to say anything during the meeting you might have him tell you what he wants to say and write it down on cards for him. Then he could read the cards. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I would try to get them to agree to send a notebook back and forth between home and school so you and the teachers can communicate at least weekly or when there's been a crisis or big problem at school. It may also give you some things to ask about in these "brick wall" meetings.</p><p></p><p>You make it sound like SD staff diagnosed him ODD. Is that true? Cause I'm pretty sure legally that they do not have the licensing required to diagnose anything. A psychiatrist or psychologist (Ph.D or Psy.D) are the only professionals licensed to diagnose. If the school district did the diagnosis then I would think you have grounds for a lawsuit against them regardless of anything else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 409684, member: 7948"] I know that bruised forehead feeling. That's why I have an advocate coming to my son's IEP meeting next Tuesday. I'm not sure what will be decided and I'm not even sure what I think is the right placement for difficult child 2. His psychiatrist says he should be in an ED classroom but when he's at school he does "fine". Anyway, I really understand the impulse to "tell" the SD what your child needs. I haven't found that it works very well here. What has worked better for me is to just ask questions. This seems to put them off their stride. Rather than say "my son needs a 1 on 1 aide" you might ask how are they going to teach him to advocate for himself when he doesn't understand the directions or how are they going to ensure he completes the work he is supposed to do during the school day? In what circumstances has he learned or cooperated or done what was asked of him? How do we extend that to longer periods of time? What happens if you use a lot of visual teaching techniques or materials instead of verbal/written ones? Etc. You want them to engage with the idea that this child is teachable and they can figure out how to do it. If possible (Ok call me an idealist) you want them to get excited about the idea they *can* help him learn and grow. You want to help them see your child through your eyes - that he has potential and will make them proud. He is willing to do his part but he has these challenges that make it hard for him to show that side to them. Telling them what he needs won't do this. But, as I know quite well, it may be all that you're left with if they are going to be stubborn. Does your difficult child attend the IEP meetings? Cause the other thing I have found is that the one time I was able to get my difficult child 2 to attend the meeting it made a huge difference in the dynamics of the meeting. Don't know if the same thing would happen for you but I thought I'd mention it. Even if difficult child doesn't say a lot it's much harder to talk about someone as if they are "bad" or impossible to work with when they are sitting right there at the table. If your difficult child can speak for himself it would be great - provided he doesn't go off on them in a way that will undermine your position. If he can say he feels frustrated, lost, isn't sure what he's supposed to be doing most of the time, who to ask for help, how to ask for help - whatever - it may really help shift the focus. If he could come even briefly but he doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to say anything during the meeting you might have him tell you what he wants to say and write it down on cards for him. Then he could read the cards. In the meantime, I would try to get them to agree to send a notebook back and forth between home and school so you and the teachers can communicate at least weekly or when there's been a crisis or big problem at school. It may also give you some things to ask about in these "brick wall" meetings. You make it sound like SD staff diagnosed him ODD. Is that true? Cause I'm pretty sure legally that they do not have the licensing required to diagnose anything. A psychiatrist or psychologist (Ph.D or Psy.D) are the only professionals licensed to diagnose. If the school district did the diagnosis then I would think you have grounds for a lawsuit against them regardless of anything else. [/QUOTE]
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RAS evaluation is finally done and ???
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