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General Parenting
re: How do you discipline your children?
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 426947" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>I'm glad this thread was re-started....</p><p> </p><p>mrsammler had written a few posts on discipline and I was hoping for more of a discussion. He pointed out that many times, parents of difficult children adopt a goal of "return to normalcy" rather than a goal of appropriate behavior - and I admit, that is the point to which my household has denigrated.</p><p> </p><p>One of my problems is that disciplining difficult child often results in "unintended consequences"...</p><p> </p><p>IOW - I can force her to do something by being very strict and domineering...and while that may work to get her to, say, do her chores <em>at that moment</em> - it often results in difficult child feeling the need to vent her frustration or seek revenge. She may do this by flying into a rage....damaging property....hurting others....hurting herself....running off....or seeking out a dangerous activity. (Obviously, this is worse than whatever discipline I may have been trying to hand out.) But then a vicious cycle now requires "discipline" for difficult child's acting out - which results in a larger response from difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>Inevitably, someone will be seriously hurt - most likely a family member.</p><p> </p><p>At that point, there will be arrest or hospitalization for difficult child...</p><p> </p><p>which in the system as it exists today - likely results in difficult child being released back to her family.</p><p> </p><p>And around and round we go...</p><p> </p><p>There has to be an alternative to this ridiculousness.</p><p> </p><p>I admit that I do not know what it is - but I am open to suggestions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 426947, member: 6546"] I'm glad this thread was re-started.... mrsammler had written a few posts on discipline and I was hoping for more of a discussion. He pointed out that many times, parents of difficult children adopt a goal of "return to normalcy" rather than a goal of appropriate behavior - and I admit, that is the point to which my household has denigrated. One of my problems is that disciplining difficult child often results in "unintended consequences"... IOW - I can force her to do something by being very strict and domineering...and while that may work to get her to, say, do her chores [I]at that moment[/I] - it often results in difficult child feeling the need to vent her frustration or seek revenge. She may do this by flying into a rage....damaging property....hurting others....hurting herself....running off....or seeking out a dangerous activity. (Obviously, this is worse than whatever discipline I may have been trying to hand out.) But then a vicious cycle now requires "discipline" for difficult child's acting out - which results in a larger response from difficult child. Inevitably, someone will be seriously hurt - most likely a family member. At that point, there will be arrest or hospitalization for difficult child... which in the system as it exists today - likely results in difficult child being released back to her family. And around and round we go... There has to be an alternative to this ridiculousness. I admit that I do not know what it is - but I am open to suggestions. [/QUOTE]
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