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Reaching out just in case...
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 709077" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>A little while ago there was a thread about whether we really knew or children. I was reminded of that today...my son called me early this morning...he sounded fine. He paid some lip service to the usual litany of "I know I <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />ed up" and said he was calling to let me know he was OK, and that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while but that he would check in from time to time so I knew he was OK. Lather rinse repeat. I get that call every time. I was completely unmoved.</p><p></p><p>10 minutes later I got a completely frantic call from his dad (my ex) saying our son had called him sobbing, was afraid for his safety, had taken meth during the night and his heart was racing...his dad was frantically trying to figure out how to get help. </p><p></p><p>Then I got an email from my son's public defender, who put his heart and soul into helping this young man...saying he had gotten a call from my son, and that he (the PD) was desperately trying to get his bed back at the treatment center. (I know from previous experience that this is not possible).</p><p></p><p>It seems to me that this is my son, the one I do not know, the one whose hallmark was always a sweet cluelessness, being manipulative. Stirring up drama and attention. Getting vulnerable people who care about him to jump through desperate hoops. </p><p></p><p>I am starting to have the uneasy feeling that I do know who he is, and that person is ugly. At least right now. I wonder how long that has been true.</p><p></p><p>I am OK. Dealing with the inner turmoil with all the experience I can bring to bear on dealing with the inevitable inner turmoil that our Difficult Child's bring upon us. It will pass. He will disappear for a while, and re-emerge wasted and remorseful, or arrested and remorseful, or dead. I'll figure out my new relationship with him when that happens. For now...he makes his choices. I make mine. I try to remove myself from the toxicity that is his life.</p><p></p><p>Ugh.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 709077, member: 17269"] A little while ago there was a thread about whether we really knew or children. I was reminded of that today...my son called me early this morning...he sounded fine. He paid some lip service to the usual litany of "I know I :censored2:ed up" and said he was calling to let me know he was OK, and that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while but that he would check in from time to time so I knew he was OK. Lather rinse repeat. I get that call every time. I was completely unmoved. 10 minutes later I got a completely frantic call from his dad (my ex) saying our son had called him sobbing, was afraid for his safety, had taken meth during the night and his heart was racing...his dad was frantically trying to figure out how to get help. Then I got an email from my son's public defender, who put his heart and soul into helping this young man...saying he had gotten a call from my son, and that he (the PD) was desperately trying to get his bed back at the treatment center. (I know from previous experience that this is not possible). It seems to me that this is my son, the one I do not know, the one whose hallmark was always a sweet cluelessness, being manipulative. Stirring up drama and attention. Getting vulnerable people who care about him to jump through desperate hoops. I am starting to have the uneasy feeling that I do know who he is, and that person is ugly. At least right now. I wonder how long that has been true. I am OK. Dealing with the inner turmoil with all the experience I can bring to bear on dealing with the inevitable inner turmoil that our Difficult Child's bring upon us. It will pass. He will disappear for a while, and re-emerge wasted and remorseful, or arrested and remorseful, or dead. I'll figure out my new relationship with him when that happens. For now...he makes his choices. I make mine. I try to remove myself from the toxicity that is his life. Ugh. Echo [/QUOTE]
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