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General Parenting
reactive attachment disorder child - need help
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 232541" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Do NOT bring this boy back into the home with female siblings, esp younger one being so very young!!!!!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>I think you need to find a Residential Treatment Center that specialized in children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and attachment disorders. He is already a sexual predator, and whether that was directed to a young boy because there were only boys available, or because he prefers boys you can't really know.</p><p></p><p>He NEEDS a HIGH level of care and supervision. Essentially a locked facility that can address his issues while keeping him and others safe from his actions.</p><p></p><p>You have a responsibility to the other children to provide a safe home, and if he comes home you can't do that. I hate that they may lay charges if you must abandon custody, but sometimes that is better than having him come home and hurt or kill a family member. </p><p></p><p>It isn't talked about much, but one thing that happens with children who are sexual predators or are becoming sexual predators is that they use sexual abuse to control the other children. </p><p></p><p>This is a very scary and dangerous situation, and you have 3 other children who's needs must be paramount. It is very hard to give up custody, and it can tear your heart out. But it would be better to know he is somewhere safe where he is getting help than to deal with the aftermath of learning he abused or killed a sibling.</p><p></p><p>I also think it is VERY important to work with a therapist for your other children. He may have already abused them in ways you don't know (such as how he abused the boy at the home). He would have convinced the other children that he would further abuse them, hurt them some other way, or hurt or kill one of you or the baby if they told. Eliciting this info is something a specially trained therapist should do. But I would be very surprised if he had not done something to one of your daughters. VERY VERY surprised.</p><p></p><p>Sad as it is, it is time to put the safety and sanity of the family above the needs of this boy. Until/unless he is ready and willing to accept help, there is very very little you can do for him. All the tools in the world don't help if you refuse to open the toolbox, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Sending prayers for your family.</p><p></p><p>Susie</p><p></p><p>PS. Welcome to our site. I am glad you found us. We are a very supportive group, and others will come and post before much longer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 232541, member: 1233"] Do NOT bring this boy back into the home with female siblings, esp younger one being so very young!!!!!!!!!! I think you need to find a Residential Treatment Center that specialized in children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and attachment disorders. He is already a sexual predator, and whether that was directed to a young boy because there were only boys available, or because he prefers boys you can't really know. He NEEDS a HIGH level of care and supervision. Essentially a locked facility that can address his issues while keeping him and others safe from his actions. You have a responsibility to the other children to provide a safe home, and if he comes home you can't do that. I hate that they may lay charges if you must abandon custody, but sometimes that is better than having him come home and hurt or kill a family member. It isn't talked about much, but one thing that happens with children who are sexual predators or are becoming sexual predators is that they use sexual abuse to control the other children. This is a very scary and dangerous situation, and you have 3 other children who's needs must be paramount. It is very hard to give up custody, and it can tear your heart out. But it would be better to know he is somewhere safe where he is getting help than to deal with the aftermath of learning he abused or killed a sibling. I also think it is VERY important to work with a therapist for your other children. He may have already abused them in ways you don't know (such as how he abused the boy at the home). He would have convinced the other children that he would further abuse them, hurt them some other way, or hurt or kill one of you or the baby if they told. Eliciting this info is something a specially trained therapist should do. But I would be very surprised if he had not done something to one of your daughters. VERY VERY surprised. Sad as it is, it is time to put the safety and sanity of the family above the needs of this boy. Until/unless he is ready and willing to accept help, there is very very little you can do for him. All the tools in the world don't help if you refuse to open the toolbox, Know what I mean?? Sending prayers for your family. Susie PS. Welcome to our site. I am glad you found us. We are a very supportive group, and others will come and post before much longer. [/QUOTE]
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