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General Parenting
Reactive attachment disorder in people of all ages
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<blockquote data-quote="Stella" data-source="post: 246082" data-attributes="member: 6837"><p>MWM,</p><p>whilst trying to come up with a diagnosis for my difficult child, "attachment disorder" has been thrown into the mix by one of the SW's. I have read up quite a bit on it and I do realise that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is more often found in adoptive kids, but it is not always the case. I am my difficult child's biological mom but she does seem to have attachement issues that are congruent to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She was never very affectionate or 'cuddley" and never really wanted me to help her with anything. From helping her put on her clothes to feeding her etc. She wanted to do everything herself. Now at the age of 10 this has progressed to her not allowing me to show her or teach her anything. She does not allow me to help her wiht her homework even if she is stuck on a question, she doens't allow me to hug her etc etc. Also when I go away (which is very rarely) she suffers from seperation anxiety which is apparently due to her "insecure attachement" to me. I've been told if her attachement to me was secure that she would not be so fretful when I leave. in my opinion TRUST plays a huge part in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I am trying hard to build up the trust in our relationship. It's like she purposelfy keeps me at arms lenght and doesn't want to get too close to me in case I hurt her or reject her. Maybe she has issues of being rejected when her father and me seperated when she was 3. It's almost like I am the one being punished for it. Anyway, this is all specualation on my part and just trying to understand WHY she does not have a secure attachment to me. Maybe we need to accept that we will never know WHY. I don't know. I think all we can do is keep reassuring them that we love them even if we are not getting any love back in return!!</p><p> </p><p>Stella.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella, post: 246082, member: 6837"] MWM, whilst trying to come up with a diagnosis for my difficult child, "attachment disorder" has been thrown into the mix by one of the SW's. I have read up quite a bit on it and I do realise that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is more often found in adoptive kids, but it is not always the case. I am my difficult child's biological mom but she does seem to have attachement issues that are congruent to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She was never very affectionate or 'cuddley" and never really wanted me to help her with anything. From helping her put on her clothes to feeding her etc. She wanted to do everything herself. Now at the age of 10 this has progressed to her not allowing me to show her or teach her anything. She does not allow me to help her wiht her homework even if she is stuck on a question, she doens't allow me to hug her etc etc. Also when I go away (which is very rarely) she suffers from seperation anxiety which is apparently due to her "insecure attachement" to me. I've been told if her attachement to me was secure that she would not be so fretful when I leave. in my opinion TRUST plays a huge part in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I am trying hard to build up the trust in our relationship. It's like she purposelfy keeps me at arms lenght and doesn't want to get too close to me in case I hurt her or reject her. Maybe she has issues of being rejected when her father and me seperated when she was 3. It's almost like I am the one being punished for it. Anyway, this is all specualation on my part and just trying to understand WHY she does not have a secure attachment to me. Maybe we need to accept that we will never know WHY. I don't know. I think all we can do is keep reassuring them that we love them even if we are not getting any love back in return!! Stella. [/QUOTE]
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