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General Parenting
Reactive attachment disorder in people of all ages
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 246090" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks. This is really interesting to me. My son never seemed to worry about us "going away." He had no seperation anxiety. And I truly believe he made an honest attempt to attach as a young adult, but as soon as there was a mild conflict he fled and refuses to come back. This conflict was the type of normal family conflict that you can't avoid, but he decided to shun us forever. He has sort of unusual attachments. He either gets attached/obsessed (his wife and his church) or he doesn't attach. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium with him. He is a brilliant young man, a computer prodigy, already a millionaire, and puts a lot of stock in his material items and success as if to say, "See, I'm just as good as everyone else. Better!" He can attach to peers, having lived with them his early years, but not adult figures who want to love and get close to him. Like I said, he tried. At the first sign of conflict, he took off. He does not have any idea how to express emotions. He is extremely appropriate and engaging and charming, but, deep inside, he has always been conflicted and empty and he had expressesd that to me. When I told him about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), he took it seriously and I think he went for counseling, but I don't know for sure since he never really talked about it much. He sort of hinted at it--and it was Christian counseling, I believe. Everything is black and white with him. There is no middle ground. I have never heard of a child who had attachment disorder and didn't act out at home, but he never did. I can only remember three times he got angry and all three times was at his brother. Then he got so angry he kicked the door in once. But usually his demeaner was passive, good-natured, and compliant. I was trying to see if anyone else had an attachment disordered child like this. He would constantly tell me, as he got older, "You didn't have anything to do with my development. I was already who I am by the time you got me." And he's right, of course.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 246090, member: 1550"] Thanks. This is really interesting to me. My son never seemed to worry about us "going away." He had no seperation anxiety. And I truly believe he made an honest attempt to attach as a young adult, but as soon as there was a mild conflict he fled and refuses to come back. This conflict was the type of normal family conflict that you can't avoid, but he decided to shun us forever. He has sort of unusual attachments. He either gets attached/obsessed (his wife and his church) or he doesn't attach. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium with him. He is a brilliant young man, a computer prodigy, already a millionaire, and puts a lot of stock in his material items and success as if to say, "See, I'm just as good as everyone else. Better!" He can attach to peers, having lived with them his early years, but not adult figures who want to love and get close to him. Like I said, he tried. At the first sign of conflict, he took off. He does not have any idea how to express emotions. He is extremely appropriate and engaging and charming, but, deep inside, he has always been conflicted and empty and he had expressesd that to me. When I told him about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), he took it seriously and I think he went for counseling, but I don't know for sure since he never really talked about it much. He sort of hinted at it--and it was Christian counseling, I believe. Everything is black and white with him. There is no middle ground. I have never heard of a child who had attachment disorder and didn't act out at home, but he never did. I can only remember three times he got angry and all three times was at his brother. Then he got so angry he kicked the door in once. But usually his demeaner was passive, good-natured, and compliant. I was trying to see if anyone else had an attachment disordered child like this. He would constantly tell me, as he got older, "You didn't have anything to do with my development. I was already who I am by the time you got me." And he's right, of course. [/QUOTE]
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