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General Parenting
Reactive attachment disorder in people of all ages
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 246338" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>From the research I have done on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), it seems the damage to the child is usually done before age 3. After age 3 the child is developed to the point that they can process things differently, somehow. I am not sure why 3 is the magical age, but it is what I was told.</p><p></p><p>They thought Wiz might be Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because he had so many severe ear infections and then he had a urinary surgery at age 2 that he WOKE UP DURING! The anesthesiologist botched the job, gave him a short acting anesthesia that didn't last long enough for both of the procedures he needed and they couldn't give him any other anesthesia because the risk of killing him. About 2 months after the surgery he saw a commercial about surgery and he curled up clutching his privates crying "Surgy hurt! Surgy hurt!"</p><p></p><p>That is how I started exploring to see what had happened (because of course they didn't tell me - just said they couldn't finish because complications). They also gave me a lot of BS about how he would never remember anything other than having surgery. He described EXACTLY what had happened to us. The OR, the "masked people", how they had him "tied down", seeing the knife, it was hideous to hear my 2 year old tell me all of this.</p><p></p><p>This is why they thought Wiz might have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but he doesn't. He was extremely attached to us, especially me. Luckily, we are quite close once again.</p><p></p><p>Don't let them put a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis on until you are SURE that EVERYTHING else has been ruled out. Often you cannot be sure everything has been ruled out until a child is MUCH older. So if you don't know of abuse or neglect, fight the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>MWM, it may be that he just could never risk opening up to attach to any adult because he was so neglected/abused in the orphanage during his baby years. You probably will never know. It sounds like you did your very best but he just was not able to let you into his heart. I am so sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 246338, member: 1233"] From the research I have done on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), it seems the damage to the child is usually done before age 3. After age 3 the child is developed to the point that they can process things differently, somehow. I am not sure why 3 is the magical age, but it is what I was told. They thought Wiz might be Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because he had so many severe ear infections and then he had a urinary surgery at age 2 that he WOKE UP DURING! The anesthesiologist botched the job, gave him a short acting anesthesia that didn't last long enough for both of the procedures he needed and they couldn't give him any other anesthesia because the risk of killing him. About 2 months after the surgery he saw a commercial about surgery and he curled up clutching his privates crying "Surgy hurt! Surgy hurt!" That is how I started exploring to see what had happened (because of course they didn't tell me - just said they couldn't finish because complications). They also gave me a lot of BS about how he would never remember anything other than having surgery. He described EXACTLY what had happened to us. The OR, the "masked people", how they had him "tied down", seeing the knife, it was hideous to hear my 2 year old tell me all of this. This is why they thought Wiz might have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but he doesn't. He was extremely attached to us, especially me. Luckily, we are quite close once again. Don't let them put a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis on until you are SURE that EVERYTHING else has been ruled out. Often you cannot be sure everything has been ruled out until a child is MUCH older. So if you don't know of abuse or neglect, fight the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis. MWM, it may be that he just could never risk opening up to attach to any adult because he was so neglected/abused in the orphanage during his baby years. You probably will never know. It sounds like you did your very best but he just was not able to let you into his heart. I am so sorry. [/QUOTE]
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