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General Parenting
Reactive attachment disorder in people of all ages
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 246458" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We were told about it when we adopted our foster child, but in general they don't tell us a whole lot (unless it has changed). And then there are some who adopt older kids (most NOT on this board) who want to pretend that love will cure all, even if the child lived two to eight years in an orphanage or in foster care with no adult they could ever trust--there is, like everything else, denial. The fact is, some adopted kids, mostly older adopted, will never really attach to their new parents. I know our son from Hong Kong never really thought of us as his parents, although he was well-mannered and compliant. I think he desperately wanted to attach, but he couldn't. And all attachment therapy is kind of theory--back then it wasn't talked about much anyway. Plus we never could have afforded to travel and have the sort of treatment that is recommended today. I would not adopt an older child again unless I know straight up that this is a child that may only think of us as a temporary caregiver because this boy broke our hearts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 246458, member: 1550"] We were told about it when we adopted our foster child, but in general they don't tell us a whole lot (unless it has changed). And then there are some who adopt older kids (most NOT on this board) who want to pretend that love will cure all, even if the child lived two to eight years in an orphanage or in foster care with no adult they could ever trust--there is, like everything else, denial. The fact is, some adopted kids, mostly older adopted, will never really attach to their new parents. I know our son from Hong Kong never really thought of us as his parents, although he was well-mannered and compliant. I think he desperately wanted to attach, but he couldn't. And all attachment therapy is kind of theory--back then it wasn't talked about much anyway. Plus we never could have afforded to travel and have the sort of treatment that is recommended today. I would not adopt an older child again unless I know straight up that this is a child that may only think of us as a temporary caregiver because this boy broke our hearts. [/QUOTE]
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Reactive attachment disorder in people of all ages
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