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Read Clean and feeling confused....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 592630" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I am looking forward to reading the book also. I have always had trouble with the word bottom because how do you know what someone's bottom is. Yes we did make our difficult child leave our home and there truly was no other alternative. So for us I guess you could say she hit bottom before she asked for help, it was her bottom at the time, obviously not the lowest bottom she could reach because she was not living on the street and she was still eating and she was not on heroin or other hard drugs. But it was her bottom because that is the point where she decided on her own that she didn't want to live that way any longer. So I understand what they are saying about not making them hit bottom but as far as I am concerned it's only playing with words. When a difficult child does not want help, is a legal adult, refuses to get help, is destructive and abusive and violent and is using drugs and not rational, there are not many other alternatives. So I hope this book is not trying to make those of us who have had to take that step feel guilty for doing it.</p><p></p><p>I do agree that the person does not have to want help to get help. But I will also say that I sit in meetings every week and listen to addicts over and over say that they did not get clean/sober until they wanted to and no forcing or begging by their parents or any other entity did any good. So I can't discount what they are saying. This also could just be a play on words because a difficult child could be forced into treatment and somewhere along the way see the light and want help, but over and over again they relapse until they decide they want to stop. Again I feel that this is all just symantics.</p><p></p><p>As time goes on I am becoming more and more convinced that no one knows the answer to the correct treatment program. I have yet to hear about any program that has a high success rate and believe it is different for everyone. And I do agree that mental illness is a huge component of addiction but there again I don't think we have a clue how to resolve that.</p><p></p><p>I guess you could say I'm a bit negative today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 592630, member: 59"] I am looking forward to reading the book also. I have always had trouble with the word bottom because how do you know what someone's bottom is. Yes we did make our difficult child leave our home and there truly was no other alternative. So for us I guess you could say she hit bottom before she asked for help, it was her bottom at the time, obviously not the lowest bottom she could reach because she was not living on the street and she was still eating and she was not on heroin or other hard drugs. But it was her bottom because that is the point where she decided on her own that she didn't want to live that way any longer. So I understand what they are saying about not making them hit bottom but as far as I am concerned it's only playing with words. When a difficult child does not want help, is a legal adult, refuses to get help, is destructive and abusive and violent and is using drugs and not rational, there are not many other alternatives. So I hope this book is not trying to make those of us who have had to take that step feel guilty for doing it. I do agree that the person does not have to want help to get help. But I will also say that I sit in meetings every week and listen to addicts over and over say that they did not get clean/sober until they wanted to and no forcing or begging by their parents or any other entity did any good. So I can't discount what they are saying. This also could just be a play on words because a difficult child could be forced into treatment and somewhere along the way see the light and want help, but over and over again they relapse until they decide they want to stop. Again I feel that this is all just symantics. As time goes on I am becoming more and more convinced that no one knows the answer to the correct treatment program. I have yet to hear about any program that has a high success rate and believe it is different for everyone. And I do agree that mental illness is a huge component of addiction but there again I don't think we have a clue how to resolve that. I guess you could say I'm a bit negative today. [/QUOTE]
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