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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 137648"><p>Thank you everyone. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /></p><p></p><p>I hit my breaking point last night when the muscle that wraps around my wrist and snakes up my arm became visibly and almost grotesquely swollen and my arm and hand was so weak it was all I could do to put on chapstick. What did I do to cause this? I combed out my hair after my shower. </p><p></p><p>With the mental cloudiness I was still experiencing, that was my breaking point.</p><p></p><p>My mom came up today and I have to say I am not proud of myself today. She came up to help me with a few things and for company, I thought, but she then set out to clean my house. It was very nice of her and I do appreciate it, but it was just another reminder of what I cannot do and I became very agitated and angry. I couldn't seem to help myself. I felt toxic. I finally exploded and then broke down into great, heaving sobs that racked my body. And my mom was busy being understanding when she should have been ticked off at me for the way I'd been acting. Sigh. No daughter of the year award here.</p><p></p><p>I can't deal with the fogginess. And I'm not on any drugs that would cause that. The strongest painkiller I'm on is naproxen. And I can't deal with the unknowns. I was a mother, with a job and somewhat of a social life and now I feel like I'm nothing. I have nothing to offer. I don't know from one day to the next what my body is going to do and I don't know how to live like that. </p><p></p><p>I truly appreciate all of your support. I'm a mess, but I'll get through this one way or another.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 137648"] Thank you everyone. :flowers: I hit my breaking point last night when the muscle that wraps around my wrist and snakes up my arm became visibly and almost grotesquely swollen and my arm and hand was so weak it was all I could do to put on chapstick. What did I do to cause this? I combed out my hair after my shower. With the mental cloudiness I was still experiencing, that was my breaking point. My mom came up today and I have to say I am not proud of myself today. She came up to help me with a few things and for company, I thought, but she then set out to clean my house. It was very nice of her and I do appreciate it, but it was just another reminder of what I cannot do and I became very agitated and angry. I couldn't seem to help myself. I felt toxic. I finally exploded and then broke down into great, heaving sobs that racked my body. And my mom was busy being understanding when she should have been ticked off at me for the way I'd been acting. Sigh. No daughter of the year award here. I can't deal with the fogginess. And I'm not on any drugs that would cause that. The strongest painkiller I'm on is naproxen. And I can't deal with the unknowns. I was a mother, with a job and somewhat of a social life and now I feel like I'm nothing. I have nothing to offer. I don't know from one day to the next what my body is going to do and I don't know how to live like that. I truly appreciate all of your support. I'm a mess, but I'll get through this one way or another. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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