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I totally understand where you are coming from.  The avoiding taking your child places, feeling defeated, worrying,  etc.  I have tried so many different parenting/discipline techniques.  I always just thought I was a bad parent.  Dont blame yourself, you obviously love him very much and are doing your best, sometimes it just takes extra help to get a handle on things.  I can't give you much advice, I'm new to this too and we are just starting on our journey to find a solution, but I can tell you that I understand what you're going through, and that you are not a bad parent.  Try to take it easy on yourself (easier said than done).


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