My daughter is borderline (no children, thank goodness) and she gleefully admits to how many times she has thrown me and my husband "under the bus" to anyone who will listen. Sometimes because she is angry at me (for something I am not even aware of) or to manipulate to get sympathy and handouts. Just keep holding your head high. Keep taking the high road. People who know me or get to know me, know it is all within her. People who don't usually figure it out with her erratic behavior and temperament. Those who stay blindly by her side, well, they just deserve what she doles out. And it sounds like your grandson, even at four, is beginning to question her. ("I don't know why but she does.") To do or say something could backfire. She could take it out on your grandson, or on you by not letting you see him. Just continue to reassure him and act oblivious around her (I know, hard to do). That is what he will remember as he grows: mom's erratic, unstable behavior vs. grandmother's calm, loving support.
