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General Parenting
Rec'd another letter from difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 405399" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Just wanted to send hugs - I think about you and your son all of the time. I know how hard it has been on you to make all of these decisions, without help from a caring spouse or father. You and I have walked in the same shoes.</p><p></p><p>I try really hard not to beat myself up over my past decisions regarding difficult child, although sometimes it is really, really hard. I was journaling the other day about a period in Matt's life, and I wrote - I will never forgive myself for making 'X' decision in regards to Matt. That was an extremely powerful statement to write, and one I am not sure I fully realized until I wrote it. It gave me a lot of pause, because really, how can I NOT forgive myself? We only can do the best we can, with what we know. And you and I have certainly done that. That is all we can do.</p><p></p><p>As for his letter, etc., I guess I don't really have any advice, unfortunately. I think that difficult children can be extremely perceptive, and your difficult child is probably right that some guy has it out for him. When Matt says that it is usually right on - but it is almost always because of a poor decision Matt made. The 2 heads butt - and it goes down hill from there. For me, that is the hallmark of a difficult child. I knew the minute Matt said a teacher had it out for him, it was over - because he also had it out for her - and they were going to lock horns. Figuring out how to navigate and circumvent negative situations in ones life, is a learning process for all of us.....it is just that difficult children are horrible at circumventing negative situations. Instead they want to fight it out.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs.....I will keep sending positive thoughts your way!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 405399, member: 3301"] Just wanted to send hugs - I think about you and your son all of the time. I know how hard it has been on you to make all of these decisions, without help from a caring spouse or father. You and I have walked in the same shoes. I try really hard not to beat myself up over my past decisions regarding difficult child, although sometimes it is really, really hard. I was journaling the other day about a period in Matt's life, and I wrote - I will never forgive myself for making 'X' decision in regards to Matt. That was an extremely powerful statement to write, and one I am not sure I fully realized until I wrote it. It gave me a lot of pause, because really, how can I NOT forgive myself? We only can do the best we can, with what we know. And you and I have certainly done that. That is all we can do. As for his letter, etc., I guess I don't really have any advice, unfortunately. I think that difficult children can be extremely perceptive, and your difficult child is probably right that some guy has it out for him. When Matt says that it is usually right on - but it is almost always because of a poor decision Matt made. The 2 heads butt - and it goes down hill from there. For me, that is the hallmark of a difficult child. I knew the minute Matt said a teacher had it out for him, it was over - because he also had it out for her - and they were going to lock horns. Figuring out how to navigate and circumvent negative situations in ones life, is a learning process for all of us.....it is just that difficult children are horrible at circumventing negative situations. Instead they want to fight it out. Many hugs.....I will keep sending positive thoughts your way!!! [/QUOTE]
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Rec'd another letter from difficult child
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