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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 754855" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>I quit enabling after taking my son to rehab for the 4th time, he burst through the doors and refused to finish the intake process. He got in my car and I couldn't get him out. The police finally talked him out.</p><p></p><p>I drove home and 2 hours later he showed up. He walked 10 miles to my home. He sat on the front lawn for 4 days. It was truly a standoff. It was painful to watch him suffer. I was out of money, time, patience, sanity and he had stolen from me. </p><p></p><p>After the standoff I did drop him at the rehab. He said he didn't go in because he didn't want me to find out that he had done math and heroin. </p><p></p><p>When he relapsed shortly after, I cut him off. He decided to be homeless so I stopped. I read the book codependent no more and just told him I would not be giving him money anymore. </p><p></p><p>Every once in a while I got him a food gift card and bought him a tent. As soon as I stopped enabling, it made it harder for him to get high. He had to get a job to use or beg, or whatever. </p><p></p><p>That's when I started to heal. He took the news pretty good. The conversation went like this:</p><p>J, I know that I have been enabling you to use drugs and I am sorry for that. You deserve a mom who respects herself and makes good use of the money she earns. I hope you figure it out. I love you and I am turning you over to God."</p><p></p><p>His response: "I get it mom, thanks and I'm sorry ".</p><p></p><p>He's a kind boy, I'm lucky. But even if he was to kick and scream and cuss me, I had already made up my mind. I just told him out of love and moved on.</p><p></p><p>He offers to help buy his sisters Christmas this year. I let him!</p><p>Jmom</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 754855, member: 19892"] I quit enabling after taking my son to rehab for the 4th time, he burst through the doors and refused to finish the intake process. He got in my car and I couldn't get him out. The police finally talked him out. I drove home and 2 hours later he showed up. He walked 10 miles to my home. He sat on the front lawn for 4 days. It was truly a standoff. It was painful to watch him suffer. I was out of money, time, patience, sanity and he had stolen from me. After the standoff I did drop him at the rehab. He said he didn't go in because he didn't want me to find out that he had done math and heroin. When he relapsed shortly after, I cut him off. He decided to be homeless so I stopped. I read the book codependent no more and just told him I would not be giving him money anymore. Every once in a while I got him a food gift card and bought him a tent. As soon as I stopped enabling, it made it harder for him to get high. He had to get a job to use or beg, or whatever. That's when I started to heal. He took the news pretty good. The conversation went like this: J, I know that I have been enabling you to use drugs and I am sorry for that. You deserve a mom who respects herself and makes good use of the money she earns. I hope you figure it out. I love you and I am turning you over to God." His response: "I get it mom, thanks and I'm sorry ". He's a kind boy, I'm lucky. But even if he was to kick and scream and cuss me, I had already made up my mind. I just told him out of love and moved on. He offers to help buy his sisters Christmas this year. I let him! Jmom [/QUOTE]
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