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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 754882" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Great question! I know it's different for everyone.</p><p>For me it was somewhat a gradual awakening. I went through so many times of "helping" my son. When I say "helping" I really mean enabling but at the time, I did not see it that way. For so long I had the mindset, "this time will be different, this time he will get it together" Sadly, this went on for years. I would believe his "lies" to me that he was really trying and he knows he needs to change. I came to understand that he was simply telling me all the things I wanted to hear because then I would "help" him.</p><p>The absolute final straw for me was close to 10 years ago. My son had gotten married to a gal that I absolutely love! They got pregnant so they got married. My grand daughter was born and then my grandson. My son "played" all of us! He did a good job at making us all think he was really trying and once again, I bought all the lies he was dishing out and continued to "help"</p><p>The day came when my daughter in law had enough. You see, even though my son was good at playing all of us, he could only keep the ruse up for so long. His real character started to come out and my daughter in law tried for months thinking it would get better, hoping and praying that she could change him that if she only love him enough things would get better. She called me one day telling me that it was over, she was done, you see my son had been trying to find women online to hook up with. They split up. About a year before they split, they were in need of a car. Having two small children played on my heart so my husband and I bought them a nice used car. It was not cheap. The deal was, we would knock $1000.00 off the price of the car and they were supposed to pay us $100.00 a month till the car was paid off. We also paid for the insurance. Needless to say, I never received any payments from my son. He always had an excuse. Okay, back to them splitting up. My son kept the car. He said it was his because it was "his" parents that bought it. </p><p>My son was living in an apartment and supposedly working. He lied about working. I got in touch with him wanting to discuss him getting on track and paying us back for the car. That's when IT happened for me. That's when I decided I WAS DONE!!! My son told me that he didn't have the car anymore. He told me that he was behind on his rent so he gave the car to the landlord for the back rent. Yup, I was done. </p><p>As I said, it's different for each of us when IT happens and when we know WE ARE DONE. We each have a breaking point. </p><p>I honestly believe that had I found this site many years ago I could have saved not only thousands of dollars but my sanity.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 754882, member: 18516"] Great question! I know it's different for everyone. For me it was somewhat a gradual awakening. I went through so many times of "helping" my son. When I say "helping" I really mean enabling but at the time, I did not see it that way. For so long I had the mindset, "this time will be different, this time he will get it together" Sadly, this went on for years. I would believe his "lies" to me that he was really trying and he knows he needs to change. I came to understand that he was simply telling me all the things I wanted to hear because then I would "help" him. The absolute final straw for me was close to 10 years ago. My son had gotten married to a gal that I absolutely love! They got pregnant so they got married. My grand daughter was born and then my grandson. My son "played" all of us! He did a good job at making us all think he was really trying and once again, I bought all the lies he was dishing out and continued to "help" The day came when my daughter in law had enough. You see, even though my son was good at playing all of us, he could only keep the ruse up for so long. His real character started to come out and my daughter in law tried for months thinking it would get better, hoping and praying that she could change him that if she only love him enough things would get better. She called me one day telling me that it was over, she was done, you see my son had been trying to find women online to hook up with. They split up. About a year before they split, they were in need of a car. Having two small children played on my heart so my husband and I bought them a nice used car. It was not cheap. The deal was, we would knock $1000.00 off the price of the car and they were supposed to pay us $100.00 a month till the car was paid off. We also paid for the insurance. Needless to say, I never received any payments from my son. He always had an excuse. Okay, back to them splitting up. My son kept the car. He said it was his because it was "his" parents that bought it. My son was living in an apartment and supposedly working. He lied about working. I got in touch with him wanting to discuss him getting on track and paying us back for the car. That's when IT happened for me. That's when I decided I WAS DONE!!! My son told me that he didn't have the car anymore. He told me that he was behind on his rent so he gave the car to the landlord for the back rent. Yup, I was done. As I said, it's different for each of us when IT happens and when we know WE ARE DONE. We each have a breaking point. I honestly believe that had I found this site many years ago I could have saved not only thousands of dollars but my sanity. [/QUOTE]
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