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Regrets pressing Charges?
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<blockquote data-quote="FunInTheSun" data-source="post: 672571" data-attributes="member: 19782"><p>I'm a parent of a 19yo who has progressively become more defiant. He moved out about 6 months ago - angry we had an established curfew-(he's an adult you know!) and as far as I can tell stayed with friends or camped or slept in his car for the summer, i'm not really sure. Hoping to get him focused in a positive direction we helped get him into student housing and enrolled him in a local university with the understanding that as long as his GPA was 3.0 or better we would continue to pay for his tuition and housing. Two months into school he dropped out. He quit his part time job. And a few weeks after that he was kicked out of student housing for possession of marijuana, he was charged and is waiting to appear in court (not for another 4 months?). In the meantime we discovered he has stolen around $10,000 in cash from our home, pawned our golf clubs, mountain bikes, and tools - who knows what else, i'm sure we'll discover more later. I would like to ask those parents who have pressed charges against their own children if they have any regrets doing so? Did your child improve? Did they change? Or are they worse off now than before? We live in a smaller town and personally know the judges and police. If he were to spend time in jail I believe it would have a more positive impact in his life than a negative one. My concern is he has stated he's moving to California in January. If he continues in this bad behavior he is exhibiting now, and he is caught and arrested there, he, no doubt, will have a more brutal experience there. Should I try to intervene now by pressing charges or let him deal with his own consequences that may change him for the worse?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FunInTheSun, post: 672571, member: 19782"] I'm a parent of a 19yo who has progressively become more defiant. He moved out about 6 months ago - angry we had an established curfew-(he's an adult you know!) and as far as I can tell stayed with friends or camped or slept in his car for the summer, i'm not really sure. Hoping to get him focused in a positive direction we helped get him into student housing and enrolled him in a local university with the understanding that as long as his GPA was 3.0 or better we would continue to pay for his tuition and housing. Two months into school he dropped out. He quit his part time job. And a few weeks after that he was kicked out of student housing for possession of marijuana, he was charged and is waiting to appear in court (not for another 4 months?). In the meantime we discovered he has stolen around $10,000 in cash from our home, pawned our golf clubs, mountain bikes, and tools - who knows what else, i'm sure we'll discover more later. I would like to ask those parents who have pressed charges against their own children if they have any regrets doing so? Did your child improve? Did they change? Or are they worse off now than before? We live in a smaller town and personally know the judges and police. If he were to spend time in jail I believe it would have a more positive impact in his life than a negative one. My concern is he has stated he's moving to California in January. If he continues in this bad behavior he is exhibiting now, and he is caught and arrested there, he, no doubt, will have a more brutal experience there. Should I try to intervene now by pressing charges or let him deal with his own consequences that may change him for the worse? [/QUOTE]
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