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Relationship issue...need advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 169613" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>You know Janet, I have no answers for you as I'm in no place to really offer relationship advice at all so I'm not going to give any. Just a {hug} a big congratulations on 25 years (in a time where marriages don't last under unstressed circumstances/no issues).</p><p></p><p>I wished I lived a little closer. I'd help you and perhaps we could go out and do a few things here and there together once in a while so you could get out of the house a little (when you felt up to it - I understand that). I live that too, the lack of connections in life due to health and such. While I am no where near a one horse town I am "new" and just have no connections here and because of health lack them too.</p><p></p><p>But, I want you to understand that you made me sit back and realize something really really important from my So perspective perhaps. He is the opposite of your husband. He does darn near everything for me, happily and without question. Yes I am the luckiest lady and know it and try never to take it for granted and do for him things I can do (show him in small ways). However, he almost NEVER does anything for himself! He has so many varied interests and extremely intelligent. Before he came to be with me he had a very full life and full of activities. Now he is as housebound as I. There is no reason for him to be other then he chooses to be because of me. He needs to pursue interests.</p><p></p><p>What I'm trying to say is, thanks to you I have realized I need to force him to start taking some time for himself and doing things he likes. More then just the every other weekend trip to the library (with the kids I might add) getting books to read. He needs to actively pursue all those things he has spoken of in the past but put aside, unfulfilled. He is not, ever, bitter or resentful.</p><p></p><p>Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes in allowing myself to become complacent in how much he does for me (cooking, cleaning, running, etc...)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 169613, member: 455"] You know Janet, I have no answers for you as I'm in no place to really offer relationship advice at all so I'm not going to give any. Just a {hug} a big congratulations on 25 years (in a time where marriages don't last under unstressed circumstances/no issues). I wished I lived a little closer. I'd help you and perhaps we could go out and do a few things here and there together once in a while so you could get out of the house a little (when you felt up to it - I understand that). I live that too, the lack of connections in life due to health and such. While I am no where near a one horse town I am "new" and just have no connections here and because of health lack them too. But, I want you to understand that you made me sit back and realize something really really important from my So perspective perhaps. He is the opposite of your husband. He does darn near everything for me, happily and without question. Yes I am the luckiest lady and know it and try never to take it for granted and do for him things I can do (show him in small ways). However, he almost NEVER does anything for himself! He has so many varied interests and extremely intelligent. Before he came to be with me he had a very full life and full of activities. Now he is as housebound as I. There is no reason for him to be other then he chooses to be because of me. He needs to pursue interests. What I'm trying to say is, thanks to you I have realized I need to force him to start taking some time for himself and doing things he likes. More then just the every other weekend trip to the library (with the kids I might add) getting books to read. He needs to actively pursue all those things he has spoken of in the past but put aside, unfulfilled. He is not, ever, bitter or resentful. Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes in allowing myself to become complacent in how much he does for me (cooking, cleaning, running, etc...) [/QUOTE]
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