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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 606448" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Janet, you can. I had been so attached to that feeling that these outcomes were my doing. At some level, I punished myself for the pain my kids were in by denying myself joy. Not happiness, but joy. There is a difference. Happiness is a thing of the moment. Joy has to do with loving ourselves. If you could consciously choose to allow little instants of pure, private joy ~ relief, acceptance, presence right in the moment you are in and then, choosing to let it go, choosing to let the normal, day to day things be real for you, again, I think that could be a beginning. It isn't about the future. It isn't about the past. It isn't about anything, at all. Just the feel of warm water in the shower, or the pleasure of the way the sun looks, shining through the leaves. Nothing permanent, nothing more portentous or meaningful than a small, private smile.</p><p></p><p>Just an instant out of time.</p><p></p><p>Once you can learn to let yourself accept that little, tiny instant of joy, you have made for yourself a fortress. Because that tiny instant isn't attached to or dependent on anything or anyone else, no one can take it away or change it.</p><p></p><p>It's like a beautiful secret, to remember that one, little instant when it was just you, being present, being so aware of yourself being alive.</p><p></p><p>All the noisy messiness of life comes right back, demanding time and emotional investment and planning and hoping. But no matter what, if you give yourself permission ~ even if the permission is just a question about whether it could be true that there could be a private instant of pure joy created from nothing at all ~ that is a beginning of thinking about things differently.</p><p></p><p>Nothing changes, but everything changes.</p><p></p><p>It's like carrying a little fortress inside you that you can enter and come away stronger any time you choose. There is so little we can really do about anything. There are going to be disappointments, we are going to regret ten thousand things...but knowing we can experience those little instants of centering, those little snippets of relief, can help us so much.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard to stand up, to know what to do, to think how to handle things we never dreamed would happen. We just don't get it that everyone, every single person in the world, feels that same uncertainty, that same disappointment with our performance or its outcome. It takes more courage than we have, sometimes. We need a source of strength, a place to let down and just be for a second. We will never find it out there. We only find that instant inside ourselves. We are the only ones who can give ourselves permission to feel it. Once we do feel it? No one can take that knowledge of safe sanctuary away from us, ever again.</p><p></p><p>At least, that is what I think I know, this morning.</p><p></p><p>How we talk to ourselves is paramount. You know I have been working with the Joel Osteen materials. Strangely enough, I just did this quote on a reply to JKF. Since I found the quote, back in March, I have had it posted on my fridge, to remind me that this is how I want to think. I was not thinking this way, prior to reading the Osteen materials. It made a difference, for me. Here is the quote:</p><p></p><p>I DECLARE I will speak only positive words of faith and victory over myself, my family, and my future. I will not use my words to describe the situation. I will use my words to change my situation. I will call in favor, good breaks, healing and restoration. I will not talk to God about how big my problems are. I will talk to my problems about how big my God is. This is my declaration.</p><p></p><p>Joel Osteen</p><p>I Declare</p><p></p><p>You are a bright, kind, funny woman, Janet. You have been so kind to me, so willing to share your challenges and pain so that I could understand my daughter and myself more clearly. That takes courage, to be willing to risk vulnerability to help someone else. </p><p></p><p>I'm just sayin'.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 606448, member: 1721"] Janet, you can. I had been so attached to that feeling that these outcomes were my doing. At some level, I punished myself for the pain my kids were in by denying myself joy. Not happiness, but joy. There is a difference. Happiness is a thing of the moment. Joy has to do with loving ourselves. If you could consciously choose to allow little instants of pure, private joy ~ relief, acceptance, presence right in the moment you are in and then, choosing to let it go, choosing to let the normal, day to day things be real for you, again, I think that could be a beginning. It isn't about the future. It isn't about the past. It isn't about anything, at all. Just the feel of warm water in the shower, or the pleasure of the way the sun looks, shining through the leaves. Nothing permanent, nothing more portentous or meaningful than a small, private smile. Just an instant out of time. Once you can learn to let yourself accept that little, tiny instant of joy, you have made for yourself a fortress. Because that tiny instant isn't attached to or dependent on anything or anyone else, no one can take it away or change it. It's like a beautiful secret, to remember that one, little instant when it was just you, being present, being so aware of yourself being alive. All the noisy messiness of life comes right back, demanding time and emotional investment and planning and hoping. But no matter what, if you give yourself permission ~ even if the permission is just a question about whether it could be true that there could be a private instant of pure joy created from nothing at all ~ that is a beginning of thinking about things differently. Nothing changes, but everything changes. It's like carrying a little fortress inside you that you can enter and come away stronger any time you choose. There is so little we can really do about anything. There are going to be disappointments, we are going to regret ten thousand things...but knowing we can experience those little instants of centering, those little snippets of relief, can help us so much. It's so hard to stand up, to know what to do, to think how to handle things we never dreamed would happen. We just don't get it that everyone, every single person in the world, feels that same uncertainty, that same disappointment with our performance or its outcome. It takes more courage than we have, sometimes. We need a source of strength, a place to let down and just be for a second. We will never find it out there. We only find that instant inside ourselves. We are the only ones who can give ourselves permission to feel it. Once we do feel it? No one can take that knowledge of safe sanctuary away from us, ever again. At least, that is what I think I know, this morning. How we talk to ourselves is paramount. You know I have been working with the Joel Osteen materials. Strangely enough, I just did this quote on a reply to JKF. Since I found the quote, back in March, I have had it posted on my fridge, to remind me that this is how I want to think. I was not thinking this way, prior to reading the Osteen materials. It made a difference, for me. Here is the quote: I DECLARE I will speak only positive words of faith and victory over myself, my family, and my future. I will not use my words to describe the situation. I will use my words to change my situation. I will call in favor, good breaks, healing and restoration. I will not talk to God about how big my problems are. I will talk to my problems about how big my God is. This is my declaration. Joel Osteen I Declare You are a bright, kind, funny woman, Janet. You have been so kind to me, so willing to share your challenges and pain so that I could understand my daughter and myself more clearly. That takes courage, to be willing to risk vulnerability to help someone else. I'm just sayin'. :O) [/QUOTE]
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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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