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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 606460" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Ah, Recovering ~ whether I am posting here or not, I am thinking about all of you, too. Thank you so much. It is good not to be too alone with the things we all have to think our ways through.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>About the effortlessness of this new reality.... It does feel effortless, in that once we took the action (as you did, in choosing to address the problem without judgment or expectation), it was over, for us. No second guessing about whether what we had decided to do was right or wrong, because we had let go of the outcome. When I thought about how we handed it afterwards, it was just a fact. I am still pretty new to this. Part of me is wondering where the drama went. Ha! Good for me. I am aware of having decided, somewhere in here, not to second guess myself or difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Literally, she can do whatever she wants. It has nothing to do with me ~ not really. This must be what it feels like not to be enmeshed. The resentment I feel now has more to do with the time husband and I have given over. But that's over, too. I would do it, again. It was the right thing for that time.</p><p></p><p>Good.</p><p></p><p>You asked whether husband and I were back to enjoying. Not yet. We are still in that place where everything goes really silent, and you start putting things back together. (It's been just an unbelievable few weeks. "Maybe yes. Maybe no." :O) </p><p></p><p>I am so proud and happy for you Recovering, about your granddaughter and the teaching and the learning. That's major. I am going to remember that in interacting with our grandchildren, too. And with both my kids, too.</p><p></p><p>I like the part about stopping, and about switching from normal mode to something better. I will remember to do that. husband and I were talking about something similar, during the thick of everything. That we have a responsibility to ourselves to say to ourselves, "Let me think about this."</p><p></p><p>No more reacting from blind panic.</p><p></p><p>I like your comment about difficult child no longer taking up so much head room. This is true. It feels strange to us, not to be worrying about whether we have heard from difficult child, about whether difficult child did what she said she was going to do, about whether we had been taken, again. We did what felt right to us and let it go.</p><p></p><p>Vitality and strength; curiosity and intent. We haven't lived our own lives for so many years. Good thing we drank all those Manhattans, way back when. Whatever is coming for us next, it will probably be fun!</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>P.S. I agree that events seem to have been structured, tailor made, toward this outcome. It must always have been so. We have changed. Still, the speed and intensity of the events, of the tests, seems too perfectly structured to have happened by chance.</p><p></p><p>That is a good thing to know, too.</p><p></p><p>And everything changes, again.</p><p></p><p>My goodness.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 606460, member: 1721"] Ah, Recovering ~ whether I am posting here or not, I am thinking about all of you, too. Thank you so much. It is good not to be too alone with the things we all have to think our ways through. :O) About the effortlessness of this new reality.... It does feel effortless, in that once we took the action (as you did, in choosing to address the problem without judgment or expectation), it was over, for us. No second guessing about whether what we had decided to do was right or wrong, because we had let go of the outcome. When I thought about how we handed it afterwards, it was just a fact. I am still pretty new to this. Part of me is wondering where the drama went. Ha! Good for me. I am aware of having decided, somewhere in here, not to second guess myself or difficult child. Literally, she can do whatever she wants. It has nothing to do with me ~ not really. This must be what it feels like not to be enmeshed. The resentment I feel now has more to do with the time husband and I have given over. But that's over, too. I would do it, again. It was the right thing for that time. Good. You asked whether husband and I were back to enjoying. Not yet. We are still in that place where everything goes really silent, and you start putting things back together. (It's been just an unbelievable few weeks. "Maybe yes. Maybe no." :O) I am so proud and happy for you Recovering, about your granddaughter and the teaching and the learning. That's major. I am going to remember that in interacting with our grandchildren, too. And with both my kids, too. I like the part about stopping, and about switching from normal mode to something better. I will remember to do that. husband and I were talking about something similar, during the thick of everything. That we have a responsibility to ourselves to say to ourselves, "Let me think about this." No more reacting from blind panic. I like your comment about difficult child no longer taking up so much head room. This is true. It feels strange to us, not to be worrying about whether we have heard from difficult child, about whether difficult child did what she said she was going to do, about whether we had been taken, again. We did what felt right to us and let it go. Vitality and strength; curiosity and intent. We haven't lived our own lives for so many years. Good thing we drank all those Manhattans, way back when. Whatever is coming for us next, it will probably be fun! Cedar P.S. I agree that events seem to have been structured, tailor made, toward this outcome. It must always have been so. We have changed. Still, the speed and intensity of the events, of the tests, seems too perfectly structured to have happened by chance. That is a good thing to know, too. And everything changes, again. My goodness. :O) [/QUOTE]
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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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