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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 606636" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I do guess I find small periods of fun if not actual joy. You have to understand where I have come from and even where I stand now with everything going on with me. Not other people but inside me. I love watching my oldest granddaughter doing almost anything. I enjoy finding things I think the grands will like as gifts. </p><p></p><p>However, I was brought up being told that everything that wrong was my fault and I have never been truly able to get over thinking that way. It doesnt help that people still seem to feel that way. Even when I am completely sure of something, I am still wrong. For example, recently husband went out of town to work and never told me. On that Monday night I had made dinner and was waiting...and waiting...and waiting for him to get home to eat. I rarely will eat if he isnt home. Other people might but I wait. I dont think he actually appreciates that. I think he thinks I do it so he will make my plate because Im too lazy to do it myself. Thats not it, I just dont want him to have to eat alone when he gets home. So on that day I waited until almost 9:30 when difficult child asked me what I was waiting on and when I told him he told me that husband had gone out of town. WHAT???? When in the world had he told difficult child but then failed to tell me. Heck he never even called me that night to let me know he was there. I called him and got no answer. I left a voicemail for him and asked him if he had forgotten to tell me something. He called me that day and asked me what I meant. I told him he never told me he was working out of town. He tried to convince me he had and I said when? When? He couldnt tell me. </p><p></p><p>I tend to feel like a piece of furniture around here. Unless someone needs me they dont even look for me. </p><p></p><p>I dont know, peace and joy arent something I have ever known much of and it really doesnt have that much to do with the boys. I think it has more to do with just who I am internally. </p><p></p><p>Now I am going to take my medications and try to get a nap in before football starts...lol. I do love football and my little whopper's candy. I guess that counts for my fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 606636, member: 1514"] I do guess I find small periods of fun if not actual joy. You have to understand where I have come from and even where I stand now with everything going on with me. Not other people but inside me. I love watching my oldest granddaughter doing almost anything. I enjoy finding things I think the grands will like as gifts. However, I was brought up being told that everything that wrong was my fault and I have never been truly able to get over thinking that way. It doesnt help that people still seem to feel that way. Even when I am completely sure of something, I am still wrong. For example, recently husband went out of town to work and never told me. On that Monday night I had made dinner and was waiting...and waiting...and waiting for him to get home to eat. I rarely will eat if he isnt home. Other people might but I wait. I dont think he actually appreciates that. I think he thinks I do it so he will make my plate because Im too lazy to do it myself. Thats not it, I just dont want him to have to eat alone when he gets home. So on that day I waited until almost 9:30 when difficult child asked me what I was waiting on and when I told him he told me that husband had gone out of town. WHAT???? When in the world had he told difficult child but then failed to tell me. Heck he never even called me that night to let me know he was there. I called him and got no answer. I left a voicemail for him and asked him if he had forgotten to tell me something. He called me that day and asked me what I meant. I told him he never told me he was working out of town. He tried to convince me he had and I said when? When? He couldnt tell me. I tend to feel like a piece of furniture around here. Unless someone needs me they dont even look for me. I dont know, peace and joy arent something I have ever known much of and it really doesnt have that much to do with the boys. I think it has more to do with just who I am internally. Now I am going to take my medications and try to get a nap in before football starts...lol. I do love football and my little whopper's candy. I guess that counts for my fun. [/QUOTE]
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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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