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Parent Emeritus
Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 606687" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Nomad, I completely understand your husband's desire to live far from your difficult child. Once my granddaughter is safely tucked away in her own life, SO and I plan on traveling and eventually moving to Kauai. We both love Kauai and that has been the plan for awhile and is the first reason to go. The second reason is that I will be 3000 miles across the Pacific ocean............far enough away to keep me safe from immediate difficult child drama and allowing me to feel free. I love to travel and when I'm traveling, even when in the throes of difficult child chaos, I am far enough away to feel okay and enjoy myself. There is a lot to be said for distance. My granddaughter will always have a place to go wherever we are, if she chose to live with us as she completes her education and young adulthood..........but not my daughter. I absolutely get your husbands need for peace.</p><p></p><p>Kathy, as I was reading your post, it occurred to me that after a lot of time trying to figure out what the issue was with my daughter........ is it bi-polar like my sister, is it narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social disorder, severe entitlement, is she a sociopath...........on it went..............and then once I realized there was nothing else I could do, the diagnosis, the reason became irrelevant, she is who she is and I had to detach, I had to make boundaries to protect myself and keep me sane and peaceful and accept what is. At a certain point, the reason ceased to matter, she wasn't changing and I needed to take care of myself. At some point that may happen for you too, I don't know.......we just keep making strong boundaries around their behavior until we all reach a place where we can all live peacefully.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 606687, member: 13542"] Nomad, I completely understand your husband's desire to live far from your difficult child. Once my granddaughter is safely tucked away in her own life, SO and I plan on traveling and eventually moving to Kauai. We both love Kauai and that has been the plan for awhile and is the first reason to go. The second reason is that I will be 3000 miles across the Pacific ocean............far enough away to keep me safe from immediate difficult child drama and allowing me to feel free. I love to travel and when I'm traveling, even when in the throes of difficult child chaos, I am far enough away to feel okay and enjoy myself. There is a lot to be said for distance. My granddaughter will always have a place to go wherever we are, if she chose to live with us as she completes her education and young adulthood..........but not my daughter. I absolutely get your husbands need for peace. Kathy, as I was reading your post, it occurred to me that after a lot of time trying to figure out what the issue was with my daughter........ is it bi-polar like my sister, is it narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social disorder, severe entitlement, is she a sociopath...........on it went..............and then once I realized there was nothing else I could do, the diagnosis, the reason became irrelevant, she is who she is and I had to detach, I had to make boundaries to protect myself and keep me sane and peaceful and accept what is. At a certain point, the reason ceased to matter, she wasn't changing and I needed to take care of myself. At some point that may happen for you too, I don't know.......we just keep making strong boundaries around their behavior until we all reach a place where we can all live peacefully. [/QUOTE]
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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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