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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 606896" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>difficult child son did that too Kathy, when he was into drugs. He had come home to break the habit. At first, he did great. Then, not so good. Finally, we told him the only way he could stay was if he was working (which he was, at first) or going to school. So, he registered for school. Turns out, he knew more than any of the instructors. (!) He wanted us to sign for a loan for him for the next semester. Know what we did? Gave him the money he would have borrowed. (Which, had we signed for it, we would have been paying anyway ~ with interest.) That was his seed money. Away he went.</p><p></p><p>And it was worth every penny.</p><p></p><p>According to difficult child? We sent him with just enough to guarantee he would not make it.</p><p></p><p>$3500, that time.</p><p></p><p>And that's not the only time we had to do something like that. We just believed we had to help him. It would always go well for awhile....</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child chose not to declare Florida residency. Until she does, she will be paying out-of-state tuition. Her choice. Remember this story Kathy, when she wants to come home to go to school. I don't remember how old difficult child son was at that time. Probably around your daughter's age. Bright, personable, well-spoken kid. The next time he came home was a few years later, in the middle of the 4th of July celebration we hold for the family every year. He just sort of slipped in under the radar during the celebration.</p><p></p><p>He never left, of course.</p><p></p><p>That one cost us quite a bit, too. After months of the craziest stuff imaginable. difficult child son did not straighten up until he was in his thirties. He did it on his own. He is a good man. I don't quite see how he is going to turn things around for himself financially ~ but I'm sure he will. He always did have great potential.</p><p></p><p>I know how impossible it is not to believe that this time, it's going to work. What we learned to tell ourselves is that, if he was doing the things he should be, he wouldn't need us. And that is true. It's one thing for a kid to need help with a down payment on a house or something, or to have a bona fide emergency. Otherwise, needing something from you is a sure sign the child isn't doing what they are telling you they are.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 606896, member: 1721"] difficult child son did that too Kathy, when he was into drugs. He had come home to break the habit. At first, he did great. Then, not so good. Finally, we told him the only way he could stay was if he was working (which he was, at first) or going to school. So, he registered for school. Turns out, he knew more than any of the instructors. (!) He wanted us to sign for a loan for him for the next semester. Know what we did? Gave him the money he would have borrowed. (Which, had we signed for it, we would have been paying anyway ~ with interest.) That was his seed money. Away he went. And it was worth every penny. According to difficult child? We sent him with just enough to guarantee he would not make it. $3500, that time. And that's not the only time we had to do something like that. We just believed we had to help him. It would always go well for awhile.... Your difficult child chose not to declare Florida residency. Until she does, she will be paying out-of-state tuition. Her choice. Remember this story Kathy, when she wants to come home to go to school. I don't remember how old difficult child son was at that time. Probably around your daughter's age. Bright, personable, well-spoken kid. The next time he came home was a few years later, in the middle of the 4th of July celebration we hold for the family every year. He just sort of slipped in under the radar during the celebration. He never left, of course. That one cost us quite a bit, too. After months of the craziest stuff imaginable. difficult child son did not straighten up until he was in his thirties. He did it on his own. He is a good man. I don't quite see how he is going to turn things around for himself financially ~ but I'm sure he will. He always did have great potential. I know how impossible it is not to believe that this time, it's going to work. What we learned to tell ourselves is that, if he was doing the things he should be, he wouldn't need us. And that is true. It's one thing for a kid to need help with a down payment on a house or something, or to have a bona fide emergency. Otherwise, needing something from you is a sure sign the child isn't doing what they are telling you they are. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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