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General Parenting
Revisiting my thoughts on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
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<blockquote data-quote="HopeRemains" data-source="post: 569008" data-attributes="member: 14139"><p>MidwestMom- I am so sorry that those things happened to your children and pets. =( difficult child can be very charming here, too, when he wants something. He is ALWAYS very charming to other people. Such a smile that would light up the room and so attentive to them. I have always felt like it was all show when he does it with us. I know it is a show with others. I very rarely hear him genuinely laugh, though he laughs this very loud and long laugh often when he thinks something is supposed to be funny or to get attention- even the therapist noticed this once. I have also always thought he has absolutely no concious. But husband has, over the years, insinuated that I am wrong for thinking this way so many times... I don't even talk about those things to him anymore. </p><p></p><p>I know that difficult child is more hurtful when no one is looking... he used to lure easy child into the bedroom by saying he wanted to play with him JUST to hurt him as soon as he was in there. This is when easy child wasn't telling on him everytime. I actually saw this happen more than once and realized that this is what he was doing. Once, I went into the bedroom, leaving the kids out here for less than a minute. When I came back out, difficult child had lifted easy child off of the ground by his head, and was squeezing easy child's head into difficult child's stomach as hard as he could, basically choking and smothering him at the same time. I hollared out when I saw it, and saw the redness of effort in difficult child's face and the intent to really hurt before he let him go and ask me "WHAT?!". He didn't cover his emotions before I saw it. I feel pretty foolish right now. </p><p></p><p>The birds, the things he's done and said to easy child. I wonder why none of that had me ready to leave before, why didn't I feel the need to protect easy child more? They all just got jumbled in with all the other things that he does or were dismissed by husband as normal boy behavior. After the night easy child told me that difficult child threatened to kill him in his sleep, easy child has slept with us, with not a lot of argument from husband. It makes me think that even if husband won't admit that he thinks difficult child will hurt the little one, somewhere down deep he is fearful, too. I feel sick to my stomach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HopeRemains, post: 569008, member: 14139"] MidwestMom- I am so sorry that those things happened to your children and pets. =( difficult child can be very charming here, too, when he wants something. He is ALWAYS very charming to other people. Such a smile that would light up the room and so attentive to them. I have always felt like it was all show when he does it with us. I know it is a show with others. I very rarely hear him genuinely laugh, though he laughs this very loud and long laugh often when he thinks something is supposed to be funny or to get attention- even the therapist noticed this once. I have also always thought he has absolutely no concious. But husband has, over the years, insinuated that I am wrong for thinking this way so many times... I don't even talk about those things to him anymore. I know that difficult child is more hurtful when no one is looking... he used to lure easy child into the bedroom by saying he wanted to play with him JUST to hurt him as soon as he was in there. This is when easy child wasn't telling on him everytime. I actually saw this happen more than once and realized that this is what he was doing. Once, I went into the bedroom, leaving the kids out here for less than a minute. When I came back out, difficult child had lifted easy child off of the ground by his head, and was squeezing easy child's head into difficult child's stomach as hard as he could, basically choking and smothering him at the same time. I hollared out when I saw it, and saw the redness of effort in difficult child's face and the intent to really hurt before he let him go and ask me "WHAT?!". He didn't cover his emotions before I saw it. I feel pretty foolish right now. The birds, the things he's done and said to easy child. I wonder why none of that had me ready to leave before, why didn't I feel the need to protect easy child more? They all just got jumbled in with all the other things that he does or were dismissed by husband as normal boy behavior. After the night easy child told me that difficult child threatened to kill him in his sleep, easy child has slept with us, with not a lot of argument from husband. It makes me think that even if husband won't admit that he thinks difficult child will hurt the little one, somewhere down deep he is fearful, too. I feel sick to my stomach. [/QUOTE]
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