I agree that these behaviors are not because he is totally "out of control".
But it doesn't mean he is really "in control" either.
As in... I'd be really surprised if HE knows "why" he does it. Most of these kids don't know why they do it... it's just become part of who they are. It's calculated, at some level, but motive isn't obvious. If he's been badly hurt (damaged as a young child), he may be paying that forward... and it isn't safe, and there are no easy answers.
