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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 526287" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I have two brothers. One lives in the States with his American wife and children. I like and appreciate him and he is patient and tolerant with J. We see him a couple of times a year or so. The other brother is more problematic... Last time we saw him was when we spent Christmas with them two years ago; J was manic, highly excited, racing round and shouting, trying to tear paper off presents and committing the cardinal sin of spitting in front of my wife's very upper middle class father... My brother said to me that J was "anti-social" and that I was not disciplining him enough (sound familiar?) Since then I have avoided contact with them, though my brother has made a few overtures to meet up. This visit was because my other brother is here cycling in the south of France with his wife and it was felt to be an opportunity for us all to meet...</p><p>J doesn't know who this brother or his family are... I recognised afterwards that I was hoping he would be his nice self - sociable, interested, interacting in civil fashion. But, interestingly, it was as if he picked up on their past rejection of him... he was really aloof, didn't want to speak to them or interact (not typical for him) other than to be quite oppositional and unpleasant to be around when he accepted to be with us. So again they carry away an impression of J as an out of control, obnoxious child with a strange illness, when in fact he is... a lot more than that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 526287, member: 11227"] I have two brothers. One lives in the States with his American wife and children. I like and appreciate him and he is patient and tolerant with J. We see him a couple of times a year or so. The other brother is more problematic... Last time we saw him was when we spent Christmas with them two years ago; J was manic, highly excited, racing round and shouting, trying to tear paper off presents and committing the cardinal sin of spitting in front of my wife's very upper middle class father... My brother said to me that J was "anti-social" and that I was not disciplining him enough (sound familiar?) Since then I have avoided contact with them, though my brother has made a few overtures to meet up. This visit was because my other brother is here cycling in the south of France with his wife and it was felt to be an opportunity for us all to meet... J doesn't know who this brother or his family are... I recognised afterwards that I was hoping he would be his nice self - sociable, interested, interacting in civil fashion. But, interestingly, it was as if he picked up on their past rejection of him... he was really aloof, didn't want to speak to them or interact (not typical for him) other than to be quite oppositional and unpleasant to be around when he accepted to be with us. So again they carry away an impression of J as an out of control, obnoxious child with a strange illness, when in fact he is... a lot more than that. [/QUOTE]
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