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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 694894" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hopeful, I read every word of your posts too. I am so sorry for your fear, your grief and your pain, and I was right where you are with Difficult Child when he was in the worst grip of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He cut himself, he was stabbed (by his girlfriend or himself, who ever would know?), etc, etc. He threatened suicide over and over again. That stopped when I started calling the police every single time he did. </p><p></p><p>I think we get PTSD from all of this, and we become incapacitated ourselves. We can't help someone when we have no resources and are shaken with grief, exhaustion and anxiety ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest that you need a little time away from him completely to get back to level ground. You need space and rest and peace. You can't help him when you are without any kind of resources yourself. </p><p></p><p>In time, perhaps, if you choose, you can be back in contact with him with layers of protection for yourself. </p><p></p><p>I understand he is making really bad choices right now, and you can't stop that. We just can't make them stop or fix what is wrong, as much as we love them and want to. If they will not get help, we can't force them to. I so so so wish we could.</p><p></p><p>And I learned that whatever I do or don't do isn't not going to be the cause of my son committing suicide or taking one more drug or drinking one more pint of vodka or whatever it is. I truly don't have that much power over him.</p><p></p><p>I came to see myself as just one thin spoke on his wheel. He had a lot of spokes that he worked. I was just one of them. Seeing that image helped me because I used to think I was his entire wheel. I was way overblowing my role in his life. Take yourself off the hook here. It's not about you. </p><p></p><p>We are here for you. We know how incredibly hard this is. This is the hardest thing---living like this---we will ever do in our lives, I believe. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 694894, member: 17542"] Hopeful, I read every word of your posts too. I am so sorry for your fear, your grief and your pain, and I was right where you are with Difficult Child when he was in the worst grip of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He cut himself, he was stabbed (by his girlfriend or himself, who ever would know?), etc, etc. He threatened suicide over and over again. That stopped when I started calling the police every single time he did. I think we get PTSD from all of this, and we become incapacitated ourselves. We can't help someone when we have no resources and are shaken with grief, exhaustion and anxiety ourselves. I would suggest that you need a little time away from him completely to get back to level ground. You need space and rest and peace. You can't help him when you are without any kind of resources yourself. In time, perhaps, if you choose, you can be back in contact with him with layers of protection for yourself. I understand he is making really bad choices right now, and you can't stop that. We just can't make them stop or fix what is wrong, as much as we love them and want to. If they will not get help, we can't force them to. I so so so wish we could. And I learned that whatever I do or don't do isn't not going to be the cause of my son committing suicide or taking one more drug or drinking one more pint of vodka or whatever it is. I truly don't have that much power over him. I came to see myself as just one thin spoke on his wheel. He had a lot of spokes that he worked. I was just one of them. Seeing that image helped me because I used to think I was his entire wheel. I was way overblowing my role in his life. Take yourself off the hook here. It's not about you. We are here for you. We know how incredibly hard this is. This is the hardest thing---living like this---we will ever do in our lives, I believe. Hang in there. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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