Hopeful, it is good to "see" you here again. I have thought about you and your son and wondered how you are doing. I am sorry to hear about all of the drama and trauma you have been through. I read every word of your posts. Such a terrible time you have been through, to be on such constant vigilance, to be in "protect" mode all the time, when letting up for even a minute results in chaos. What a toll it takes, Hopeful. There is just no other way to put it, he is making flat-out terrible choices.
No, Sweetie, you have not grown callous. Your heart is not hard. You are not indifferent, or a terrible person. None of those things are true, NOT ONE of them, NOT FOR A SECOND. Hopeful, your posts are full of heartache. You obviously care very, very much. Self-protection mode is not a bad thing. It is freakin' necessary sometimes, and now is definitely one of those times. We all have limits on how much we can and should take. I am sorry that he has burned every bridge, like our d.c.'s do. I know it is easier said than done (because I can't do it either), but please don't let his terrible choices cause you to question yourself. My heart goes out to you today, Hopeful.
