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Substance Abuse
RM please read
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 525297"><p>Oh Nancy - I so feel your pain as it is similar to mine. Our difficult children are so similar you wonder if they come from the same gene pool? Many years ago my son had a therapist who met with us and I made some comment wondering what I had done wrong... and he told me that we had been protective factor, that in a different situation he could easily be dead or in jail! I began to realize that was true, my difficult child was doing as well as he was because of us... because we did give him love and a stable home. Now years later after he has been in jail and I worry about him dying i have realized he might easily still end up dead or in jail... but I think I at least gave him more time..... before getting there... and maybe with that more time he has learned some survival skills and will somehow survive this stage in his life. I have no idea if he will.... at times I am hopefuly because I do think he has some gut survival instinct... and at other times I feel hopeless like you often do. </p><p></p><p>I agree with RM I don't think your difficult child wants to die... if she did she would have done it by now.... she wants to have fun, she wants to feel better, she wants to drown out her pain and the only way they know how to do that is by drinking and drugging... it is so sad that they have lost the ability to have fun and be happy without substances. If they are ever to recover they need to learn how to do that again.</p><p></p><p>But getting back to that will to survive.... my hope is that my difficult children will to survive will somehow get him to a place where he realizes he wont if he keeps on the same path and that will somehow get him off his current destructive path.</p><p></p><p>All we can do is wait and see.... and keep on living.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 525297"] Oh Nancy - I so feel your pain as it is similar to mine. Our difficult children are so similar you wonder if they come from the same gene pool? Many years ago my son had a therapist who met with us and I made some comment wondering what I had done wrong... and he told me that we had been protective factor, that in a different situation he could easily be dead or in jail! I began to realize that was true, my difficult child was doing as well as he was because of us... because we did give him love and a stable home. Now years later after he has been in jail and I worry about him dying i have realized he might easily still end up dead or in jail... but I think I at least gave him more time..... before getting there... and maybe with that more time he has learned some survival skills and will somehow survive this stage in his life. I have no idea if he will.... at times I am hopefuly because I do think he has some gut survival instinct... and at other times I feel hopeless like you often do. I agree with RM I don't think your difficult child wants to die... if she did she would have done it by now.... she wants to have fun, she wants to feel better, she wants to drown out her pain and the only way they know how to do that is by drinking and drugging... it is so sad that they have lost the ability to have fun and be happy without substances. If they are ever to recover they need to learn how to do that again. But getting back to that will to survive.... my hope is that my difficult children will to survive will somehow get him to a place where he realizes he wont if he keeps on the same path and that will somehow get him off his current destructive path. All we can do is wait and see.... and keep on living. TL [/QUOTE]
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