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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 525334" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Nancy, I know what it is like to feel like they are going to die. I tried to prepare my self and my other kids for that should it happen. I know the terror, the cold sweats in the middle of the night, the pounding heart when the phone rings... I have managed to learn to keep that under control at least for now. Self talk is helpful as is meditation and/or prayer. The fear doesn't go away easily but you can get control over it with concentrated effort.</p><p></p><p>I do not presume to know what is in your daughter's head. She is definately in a bad place right now and it is indeed scary. I still hold hope for her and our other SAing difficult child's. I know that seems odd given all that I have witnessed and gone through and my level of detachment, but sometimes, just when you totally give up on someone, they get it together and turn their lives around. I guess what I'm trying to say is that detaching and guarding one's heart does not mean giving up all hope. </p><p></p><p>The daughter of a friend of mine was a difficult child who drank and used alot. She ran away to be with an older man (like twenty years older). She lied cut school, stole from her mother and sold pot. I have her to thank for introducing my boys to alcohol . She has had several therapists and a couple of long term hospitalizations in her life. She is diagnosis'd a borderline PD. Many of her friends died while still in HS. Some from car wrecks some from drugs. She expressed much despair as a result while in her late teens and early twenties. Although she said she didn't see any point in living, she never harmed herself beyond the drink and the drugs. Eventually the programs she went to did work and she stopped the drugs and settled down around her early thirties. She is now married and has a child. She did have to go back into the hospital during her pregnancy because she was having difficulty and feeling like she was going crazy but she recognized the symptoms herself and got help. So because of people like this woman I do have hope that even the worst can turn themselves around if they have the desire. What prompts that desire is different for each recovered addict. I pray that all of our difficult child's find that desire and act on it. because even though they have closed many doors on themselves they can still have a good life. I do believe that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 525334, member: 2315"] Nancy, I know what it is like to feel like they are going to die. I tried to prepare my self and my other kids for that should it happen. I know the terror, the cold sweats in the middle of the night, the pounding heart when the phone rings... I have managed to learn to keep that under control at least for now. Self talk is helpful as is meditation and/or prayer. The fear doesn't go away easily but you can get control over it with concentrated effort. I do not presume to know what is in your daughter's head. She is definately in a bad place right now and it is indeed scary. I still hold hope for her and our other SAing difficult child's. I know that seems odd given all that I have witnessed and gone through and my level of detachment, but sometimes, just when you totally give up on someone, they get it together and turn their lives around. I guess what I'm trying to say is that detaching and guarding one's heart does not mean giving up all hope. The daughter of a friend of mine was a difficult child who drank and used alot. She ran away to be with an older man (like twenty years older). She lied cut school, stole from her mother and sold pot. I have her to thank for introducing my boys to alcohol . She has had several therapists and a couple of long term hospitalizations in her life. She is diagnosis'd a borderline PD. Many of her friends died while still in HS. Some from car wrecks some from drugs. She expressed much despair as a result while in her late teens and early twenties. Although she said she didn't see any point in living, she never harmed herself beyond the drink and the drugs. Eventually the programs she went to did work and she stopped the drugs and settled down around her early thirties. She is now married and has a child. She did have to go back into the hospital during her pregnancy because she was having difficulty and feeling like she was going crazy but she recognized the symptoms herself and got help. So because of people like this woman I do have hope that even the worst can turn themselves around if they have the desire. What prompts that desire is different for each recovered addict. I pray that all of our difficult child's find that desire and act on it. because even though they have closed many doors on themselves they can still have a good life. I do believe that. [/QUOTE]
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