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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 522448" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for the safety advice, Buddy! This may shock city-dwellers, but I have never actually thought to mention this kind of thing. Still, why not? Can't do any harm and it may do good. So on our after-school walk in the countryside today, I said to him that if someone he didn't know wanted him to go with them or to go in their car, he must say no and run away or tell another grown-up. He asked why and I said that there were a few naughty people who wanted to hurt children, which he seemed to accept. I then asked him what he should do in these circumstances later, and he repeated it back. Knowing J, he will remember this perfectly and I won't need to mention it again.</p><p>About the sexual stuff - yes, it's always gone on. And as you say, it's usually perpetrated by people known to the child. I remember going for a walk with the son of a friend of my mother's - I was about 6 or 7, he was about 14 or 15. He asked me to take down my knickers and wanted to touch me. I can't remember whether he did or not... I just remember going home and telling everyone about it - other people were more alarmed than i was... It may sound strange, but I didn't feel in any way traumatised by it, either then or since... But obviously this was an extremely minor incident and when it is not minor but major, that is extremely traumatising for a child. I had already mentioned to J a few times that no-one is allowed to touch his private parts. I agree we do have to prepare children for these things, but without making them overly anxious and fearful - a difficult balance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 522448, member: 11227"] Thanks for the safety advice, Buddy! This may shock city-dwellers, but I have never actually thought to mention this kind of thing. Still, why not? Can't do any harm and it may do good. So on our after-school walk in the countryside today, I said to him that if someone he didn't know wanted him to go with them or to go in their car, he must say no and run away or tell another grown-up. He asked why and I said that there were a few naughty people who wanted to hurt children, which he seemed to accept. I then asked him what he should do in these circumstances later, and he repeated it back. Knowing J, he will remember this perfectly and I won't need to mention it again. About the sexual stuff - yes, it's always gone on. And as you say, it's usually perpetrated by people known to the child. I remember going for a walk with the son of a friend of my mother's - I was about 6 or 7, he was about 14 or 15. He asked me to take down my knickers and wanted to touch me. I can't remember whether he did or not... I just remember going home and telling everyone about it - other people were more alarmed than i was... It may sound strange, but I didn't feel in any way traumatised by it, either then or since... But obviously this was an extremely minor incident and when it is not minor but major, that is extremely traumatising for a child. I had already mentioned to J a few times that no-one is allowed to touch his private parts. I agree we do have to prepare children for these things, but without making them overly anxious and fearful - a difficult balance. [/QUOTE]
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