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General Parenting
Rules/Curfews for College-Age difficult children when at Home
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 545419" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Well... you're in the classic catch-22. The kid is technically an adult. There are things you can, and cannot, control. To the extent that this young adult allows you to help with his life, you can. To the extent he does not, you then chose your next steps.</p><p></p><p>These are just my reactions, having lived at home while getting my education.</p><p>Curfew? If you're only setting that for HIS good, it isn't going to work. If the rules for everybody in the home are the same... say, everybody in by 11 so YOU can sleep, that's fair. HOUSE rules are usually easier to swallow.</p><p></p><p>Money? Well... if him paying for x% of his education is a requirement before you'll pay the rest, AND he's willing to let you help set up systems that work for both of you, great. But... expect him to be burning through the cash a bit as he figures out who he is and where he is going.</p><p></p><p>Requirement to be involved in campus life? I'd tread carefully. The load was much heavier than I expected, and there's no way I could have handled ANY extracurriculars... </p><p></p><p>Somehow, you have to figure out which things are his responsibility, and let him face the consequences. And if being too tired to get up for work on time is one of those consequences, well, that's life. (JMO)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 545419, member: 11791"] Well... you're in the classic catch-22. The kid is technically an adult. There are things you can, and cannot, control. To the extent that this young adult allows you to help with his life, you can. To the extent he does not, you then chose your next steps. These are just my reactions, having lived at home while getting my education. Curfew? If you're only setting that for HIS good, it isn't going to work. If the rules for everybody in the home are the same... say, everybody in by 11 so YOU can sleep, that's fair. HOUSE rules are usually easier to swallow. Money? Well... if him paying for x% of his education is a requirement before you'll pay the rest, AND he's willing to let you help set up systems that work for both of you, great. But... expect him to be burning through the cash a bit as he figures out who he is and where he is going. Requirement to be involved in campus life? I'd tread carefully. The load was much heavier than I expected, and there's no way I could have handled ANY extracurriculars... Somehow, you have to figure out which things are his responsibility, and let him face the consequences. And if being too tired to get up for work on time is one of those consequences, well, that's life. (JMO) [/QUOTE]
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Rules/Curfews for College-Age difficult children when at Home
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