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General Parenting
Rules/Curfews for College-Age difficult children when at Home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 545462" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I didn't read any other responses, but I can tell you right now that in my opinion (and I could be wrong) you are trying to over control your son's life. When my grown kids turned 18, as long as they checked in with me (and it could be at any reasonable hour) I didn't worry about curfews too much, especially being five minutes late. I think 12 is really early for a college age kid. Anything he can do after 12 he can do before 12. Stuff like insisting he be a runner because his dad may be hurt...in my opinion, that's your son's choice, what he does in college. As long as my kids pulled the grades, it would be up to them how involved they got in college life. I slowly start letting go of them at sixteen (yes, we do have strict curfews and stuff at sixteen, but they ARE growing up).</p><p></p><p>Some adult parents try to micro-manage their children's lives all their lives. I am very much against that. It pushes the k ids away and doesn't teach them to learn survival skills on their own. I find it amazing and to his credit that your son will actually obey a midnight curfew and not break it (except by maybe a half hour ) at his age.</p><p></p><p>If you pay for his education, you in my opinion have a right to expect him to pull decent grades and to not break the law. Other than that, I think it's a bad idea to over supervise a college kid. Trust me, if you're TOO touch on him he WILL leave after he turns 18. It doesn't sound to me like he is a bad kid. JMO. I do have a question. If you feel he is immature and unable to care for himself, why pay for him to go away to school? I'm sure there must be some colleges within driving distance. Makes no sense to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 545462, member: 1550"] I didn't read any other responses, but I can tell you right now that in my opinion (and I could be wrong) you are trying to over control your son's life. When my grown kids turned 18, as long as they checked in with me (and it could be at any reasonable hour) I didn't worry about curfews too much, especially being five minutes late. I think 12 is really early for a college age kid. Anything he can do after 12 he can do before 12. Stuff like insisting he be a runner because his dad may be hurt...in my opinion, that's your son's choice, what he does in college. As long as my kids pulled the grades, it would be up to them how involved they got in college life. I slowly start letting go of them at sixteen (yes, we do have strict curfews and stuff at sixteen, but they ARE growing up). Some adult parents try to micro-manage their children's lives all their lives. I am very much against that. It pushes the k ids away and doesn't teach them to learn survival skills on their own. I find it amazing and to his credit that your son will actually obey a midnight curfew and not break it (except by maybe a half hour ) at his age. If you pay for his education, you in my opinion have a right to expect him to pull decent grades and to not break the law. Other than that, I think it's a bad idea to over supervise a college kid. Trust me, if you're TOO touch on him he WILL leave after he turns 18. It doesn't sound to me like he is a bad kid. JMO. I do have a question. If you feel he is immature and unable to care for himself, why pay for him to go away to school? I'm sure there must be some colleges within driving distance. Makes no sense to me. [/QUOTE]
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