Oh - I will offer one point - we homeschooled our kids for many years up to high school. Seeking academic rigor reasons. For 80% of my kids it was, on balance, a very good thing, and they thrived. But for my son who sounds a bit like your son (although no physical aggression), in hindsight, it was not good. My son is oppositional and defiant; creating another forum where I as parent was the enforcer/authority/rulemaker was not helpful. It would have been better if I had just been mom, and a school/teacher/principal etc. had been the authority over schoolwork. Maybe changing the school situation will help your dynamic as a parent.
