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S/O asked me to share something with you all
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 517208" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I am very glad to hear that M's thoughts could provide some perspective from the other side, so to speak. I will read him your responses when he wakes up later. I'm certain it will mean a lot to him. </p><p></p><p>I indeed am lucky to have M in my life. I remember when I realized he was n alcoholic. By that point I loved him so much. The first year and a half I faced heart breaking decisions. I loved the man he was under it all yet I could do nothing. Well I did do something. I refused to ignore his drinking nor allow it near me and the kids. I tried several times to end things and we went periods out of touch. I saw him struggling for strength to finally fight for himself, so I would try again and again. I questioned myself for that a lot. I remember with sadness but also with respect for my choices, that I called him on his koi every single "slip". If he hasn't been so close to bottom then and if he hadn't been so obviously working to stop I couldn't have coped. Heck even when he slipped back briefly around 2 1/2 years into our relationship I cut all contact and that time I meant it. We didn't speak for 9 months. He came to me when he felt he has worked to get it right and asked me to believe in him. I am glad that I never saw only the addict, because he truly is a blessing in my life. Oddly despite those early years pains, I love him because of where he has come from. Anyone who fights that fight and comes out the other side with true wisdom gained has a heck of a lot of strength and I can only respect and admire it hugely. That strength has enables him to be my strength when I have been in the roughest and most painful periods. This past year or so I truly believe hits being in my world has kept me sane. </p><p></p><p>On a funny note, one of the things he loves is I will always keep him honest. If I could get in his face each time about his drinking and be blunt at the repurcusion his drinking had on others and himself, I can be honest to him about anything. I never gave him those home truths to hurt. In fact I believe I have been his biggest cheerleader in all he has ever done. I just don't tap about an issue <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />. The experience of getting through him gettin sober required such honest and communication with us both that I believe is serving his today in every part of our relationship. He is the first relationship, not just romantic either, that communication is so good that we can't remember the last fight. We both learned give and take so well through all of his struggles that now it is natural for us to face hurtles head on and honestly and work problems together. </p><p></p><p>It may sound odd, but him gettin sober in the midst of our relationship was in many ways a blessing for us. And I don't mean just that we stayed together either. It created who we are together. </p><p></p><p>He and I will be the two blubbering idiots on the beach of Cuba this new years eve knowing as we say our vows for better or worse, we have already been through the worst and that means from here on in out lives we can do it all together. I have never been prouder of anyone than I am of the man that he is. I am blessed and hope to never forget it. He is a good egg. No amount of drinking could alter it. And now drinking can't mask it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 517208, member: 4264"] I am very glad to hear that M's thoughts could provide some perspective from the other side, so to speak. I will read him your responses when he wakes up later. I'm certain it will mean a lot to him. I indeed am lucky to have M in my life. I remember when I realized he was n alcoholic. By that point I loved him so much. The first year and a half I faced heart breaking decisions. I loved the man he was under it all yet I could do nothing. Well I did do something. I refused to ignore his drinking nor allow it near me and the kids. I tried several times to end things and we went periods out of touch. I saw him struggling for strength to finally fight for himself, so I would try again and again. I questioned myself for that a lot. I remember with sadness but also with respect for my choices, that I called him on his koi every single "slip". If he hasn't been so close to bottom then and if he hadn't been so obviously working to stop I couldn't have coped. Heck even when he slipped back briefly around 2 1/2 years into our relationship I cut all contact and that time I meant it. We didn't speak for 9 months. He came to me when he felt he has worked to get it right and asked me to believe in him. I am glad that I never saw only the addict, because he truly is a blessing in my life. Oddly despite those early years pains, I love him because of where he has come from. Anyone who fights that fight and comes out the other side with true wisdom gained has a heck of a lot of strength and I can only respect and admire it hugely. That strength has enables him to be my strength when I have been in the roughest and most painful periods. This past year or so I truly believe hits being in my world has kept me sane. On a funny note, one of the things he loves is I will always keep him honest. If I could get in his face each time about his drinking and be blunt at the repurcusion his drinking had on others and himself, I can be honest to him about anything. I never gave him those home truths to hurt. In fact I believe I have been his biggest cheerleader in all he has ever done. I just don't tap about an issue ;). The experience of getting through him gettin sober required such honest and communication with us both that I believe is serving his today in every part of our relationship. He is the first relationship, not just romantic either, that communication is so good that we can't remember the last fight. We both learned give and take so well through all of his struggles that now it is natural for us to face hurtles head on and honestly and work problems together. It may sound odd, but him gettin sober in the midst of our relationship was in many ways a blessing for us. And I don't mean just that we stayed together either. It created who we are together. He and I will be the two blubbering idiots on the beach of Cuba this new years eve knowing as we say our vows for better or worse, we have already been through the worst and that means from here on in out lives we can do it all together. I have never been prouder of anyone than I am of the man that he is. I am blessed and hope to never forget it. He is a good egg. No amount of drinking could alter it. And now drinking can't mask it. [/QUOTE]
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