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Same Old difficult child Nonsense
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 600274" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Could you cultivate something out of that? I know that cooking clubs are extremely popular hobby for kids around here. Maybe you have some too? Or even just take interest and help him develop his cooking interest at your home? And make sure to make big thing out of it? Invite grandparents etc. and make sure everyone hears it's difficult child's cooking and asks questions from him how he did this or that.</p><p></p><p>And considering how popular gaming is, I'm sure there are some activities surrounding that. You can't really expect difficult child to be active in that. You have to find the info and even push him. I'm sure your easy child didn't find, signed up and paid himself when he entered to his first little league team. Don't expect difficult child to do that.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't want to sound mean, but doesn't that sound a little bit like "Hey, would you like to come and watch your little brother being awesome and doing things you can't even though you are older and cheer for him and try to kill your time while he is being his awesome self?" to you? I of course don't mean that would be something you imply but something he hears. I have found out, and my difficult child tends to be very proud of his little brother, that the limit kids can handle cheering for their siblings from sidelines is rather limited. And it has to be rather even or it gets even lower. You often mention the good moments with your difficult child being when he helps easy child with easy child's sport training or things like that. How often do easy child help or cheer for difficult child (with you parents and you cheering by) for his achievements or interests? That could be very important to your difficult child. It is often so easy to cheer our sport or music kids, but if only some kids in the family do sport or music, it easily creates imbalance where only those kids' achievements are recognized and celebrated.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child for example did well at his end of school year exams if I remember correctly and tends to have good grades. What kind of family celebration you had to recognize that achievement? Are you and your husband able to spend enough positive, quality time alone with your difficult child and giving him positive recognition and feeling that you enjoy his company and doing things with him and appreciate his interests and consider them just as valuable as his brother's?</p><p></p><p>I really don't want to sound pushy, but knowing very well what time commitment a sport kid tends to be, I wonder if your difficult child feels he is always drawing a shorter stick.</p><p></p><p>If anything it seems he is quite socially immature. Does he have friends and how much is he able to spend time with them? Especially now during the vacation? It is of course nice for siblings to play, but to me it doesn't sound too common for a teen to want to play a lot with five years younger sibling. Or them to have much common plays. Could you invite difficult child's friends more to your house to spend time with him, if socialising elsewhere is difficult for him?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 600274, member: 14557"] Could you cultivate something out of that? I know that cooking clubs are extremely popular hobby for kids around here. Maybe you have some too? Or even just take interest and help him develop his cooking interest at your home? And make sure to make big thing out of it? Invite grandparents etc. and make sure everyone hears it's difficult child's cooking and asks questions from him how he did this or that. And considering how popular gaming is, I'm sure there are some activities surrounding that. You can't really expect difficult child to be active in that. You have to find the info and even push him. I'm sure your easy child didn't find, signed up and paid himself when he entered to his first little league team. Don't expect difficult child to do that. I don't want to sound mean, but doesn't that sound a little bit like "Hey, would you like to come and watch your little brother being awesome and doing things you can't even though you are older and cheer for him and try to kill your time while he is being his awesome self?" to you? I of course don't mean that would be something you imply but something he hears. I have found out, and my difficult child tends to be very proud of his little brother, that the limit kids can handle cheering for their siblings from sidelines is rather limited. And it has to be rather even or it gets even lower. You often mention the good moments with your difficult child being when he helps easy child with easy child's sport training or things like that. How often do easy child help or cheer for difficult child (with you parents and you cheering by) for his achievements or interests? That could be very important to your difficult child. It is often so easy to cheer our sport or music kids, but if only some kids in the family do sport or music, it easily creates imbalance where only those kids' achievements are recognized and celebrated. Your difficult child for example did well at his end of school year exams if I remember correctly and tends to have good grades. What kind of family celebration you had to recognize that achievement? Are you and your husband able to spend enough positive, quality time alone with your difficult child and giving him positive recognition and feeling that you enjoy his company and doing things with him and appreciate his interests and consider them just as valuable as his brother's? I really don't want to sound pushy, but knowing very well what time commitment a sport kid tends to be, I wonder if your difficult child feels he is always drawing a shorter stick. If anything it seems he is quite socially immature. Does he have friends and how much is he able to spend time with them? Especially now during the vacation? It is of course nice for siblings to play, but to me it doesn't sound too common for a teen to want to play a lot with five years younger sibling. Or them to have much common plays. Could you invite difficult child's friends more to your house to spend time with him, if socialising elsewhere is difficult for him? [/QUOTE]
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