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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 370667" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Hello Tracylinks and welcome to our little world. I wrote that line about a soft place to land for a battle weary parent quite a few years ago because I was battle weary and felt pretty alone. My resolve to do what my child needs got strengthened after I found this site and realized it wasn't that I had a child that I didn't raise correctly but a child who didn't know how to function in a world because he saw the world through different eyes than a typical child. </p><p></p><p>In my mind, you are in the discovery phase. </p><p>I think we start out with the amazement phase where their different behavior is remarked on and we are told he is smart and quick and oh so talented.</p><p>Then we get the embarrassed phase where our child doesn't act approriately. Gets asked to leave daycare/private schools and told they can't handle him. Doesn't get invited to many birthday parties or social gatherings than before. </p><p>Then we start the discovery phase. Think of it as an onion that requires the layers to be peeled as we try one diagnosis that leads to the next. </p><p>Then we have the treatment phase where we try many different behavior modification routines, different medications, different alternative treatments. </p><p>All these phases are developed out of need and have the undercurrent of fear. We can't project forward and see a regular life for a our child. What does our child need that we aren't giving them? </p><p>Looking back over the years, there is fear, frustration, embarrassment and downright anger that they just can't get it. </p><p></p><p>You want to start to peel back layers and have him evaluated by the best you can find and afford. More is known today about kids who think differently than 5, 10, 15yrs ago. Start researching. Educate yourself in the ways of unique children. Find ways to channel his energy or creativity. </p><p></p><p>Don't let anyone or any school tell you that your child can't go to school unless it is with an IEP and has been agreed to by you and whatever specialist your son needs. Look at school programs that will be a better fit. My son was pulled into a gifted Learning Disability (LD) program in 3 rd and 4th grade. He learned more there than with any other teacher. In my experience, not all alternative programs are about behavior problem. Be careful about not wanting your child being with troubled kids. I am sure there are parents in his class that don't want their child around your troubled child. I understand what you mean about him learning worse behaviors but your little guy could be teaching difficult behaviors to other youngsters. You have to look at the program and ask yourself "what does my child need?" If it fits then go for it. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, you may want to read "The Explosive Child".</p><p></p><p>My son was a biter. He was asked to leave or not accepted in every private program for special learners in our city. He was a lovely child who didn't sit still for 3 seconds. He had quite a few idiosyncratic behaviors and his growth and development pattern was different. Not blatantly but different. Potty and bowel training was a nightmare. School was confusing in that he was obviously bright, articulate and totally unable to attend for more than a minute. Even PE was nightmare. </p><p></p><p>You might want to start with a hospital trained clinical psychologist and a neuropsychologist. It may give you some sort of insight into why he is behaving in such a way that the schools can't handle him.</p><p></p><p>Trust me when I say if the school system who are trained can't teach him then what makes you think you can? I found that out when I tried for 2 days. He sure didn't cooperate with me anymore than the teachers. There are people who have had success, just not me. I think at this age it may be more difficult than when they are older to homeschool. </p><p></p><p>I hope we can share our experiences and offer you support and help you learn new ways to survive the life of a warrior mom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 370667, member: 3"] Hello Tracylinks and welcome to our little world. I wrote that line about a soft place to land for a battle weary parent quite a few years ago because I was battle weary and felt pretty alone. My resolve to do what my child needs got strengthened after I found this site and realized it wasn't that I had a child that I didn't raise correctly but a child who didn't know how to function in a world because he saw the world through different eyes than a typical child. In my mind, you are in the discovery phase. I think we start out with the amazement phase where their different behavior is remarked on and we are told he is smart and quick and oh so talented. Then we get the embarrassed phase where our child doesn't act approriately. Gets asked to leave daycare/private schools and told they can't handle him. Doesn't get invited to many birthday parties or social gatherings than before. Then we start the discovery phase. Think of it as an onion that requires the layers to be peeled as we try one diagnosis that leads to the next. Then we have the treatment phase where we try many different behavior modification routines, different medications, different alternative treatments. All these phases are developed out of need and have the undercurrent of fear. We can't project forward and see a regular life for a our child. What does our child need that we aren't giving them? Looking back over the years, there is fear, frustration, embarrassment and downright anger that they just can't get it. You want to start to peel back layers and have him evaluated by the best you can find and afford. More is known today about kids who think differently than 5, 10, 15yrs ago. Start researching. Educate yourself in the ways of unique children. Find ways to channel his energy or creativity. Don't let anyone or any school tell you that your child can't go to school unless it is with an IEP and has been agreed to by you and whatever specialist your son needs. Look at school programs that will be a better fit. My son was pulled into a gifted Learning Disability (LD) program in 3 rd and 4th grade. He learned more there than with any other teacher. In my experience, not all alternative programs are about behavior problem. Be careful about not wanting your child being with troubled kids. I am sure there are parents in his class that don't want their child around your troubled child. I understand what you mean about him learning worse behaviors but your little guy could be teaching difficult behaviors to other youngsters. You have to look at the program and ask yourself "what does my child need?" If it fits then go for it. In the meantime, you may want to read "The Explosive Child". My son was a biter. He was asked to leave or not accepted in every private program for special learners in our city. He was a lovely child who didn't sit still for 3 seconds. He had quite a few idiosyncratic behaviors and his growth and development pattern was different. Not blatantly but different. Potty and bowel training was a nightmare. School was confusing in that he was obviously bright, articulate and totally unable to attend for more than a minute. Even PE was nightmare. You might want to start with a hospital trained clinical psychologist and a neuropsychologist. It may give you some sort of insight into why he is behaving in such a way that the schools can't handle him. Trust me when I say if the school system who are trained can't teach him then what makes you think you can? I found that out when I tried for 2 days. He sure didn't cooperate with me anymore than the teachers. There are people who have had success, just not me. I think at this age it may be more difficult than when they are older to homeschool. I hope we can share our experiences and offer you support and help you learn new ways to survive the life of a warrior mom. [/QUOTE]
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