Tbone,
My earlier reply and yours must have posted at the same time. I didn't see your second post with the detailed information about your son when I posted.
Goodness! I agree with Meowbunny and Star that you need to look into a PINS or CHINS and a petition of Incorrigibility now, while your son is still in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't think that you and your other children will be safe with him in your home. Right now, while your son is not willing to be helped, you need to focus on keeping yourself and the rest of your family safe.
I am so very sorry for your pain.
Trinity
