Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Scared to death
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 623775" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>After what happened to us, when I see somebody post with a child who seems not just "differently wired" but dangerous, I try to warn them to heed what they see. Most certainly this child is like he is because of all the garbage in his life, same as the child we adopted. However, that doesn't make him any less dangerous. Since he is willing to pick on vulnerable adults, like his grandmother, and maybe even hurt her?? he would not have much trouble transitioning to your children and even children in the neighborhood.</p><p></p><p>I decided to post the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) article so that anyone can read it without going to a link. Maybe it will enlighten a parent who is living with a dangerous minor child.</p><p></p><p>Check the symptoms below.</p><p></p><p>You have very hard decisions to make and I wish you all the luck in the world.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs to you, a sane and rational person in a very insane situation. Been there, have the tee-shirt!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 22px"><strong>Reactive Attachment Disorder</strong></span></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory" target="_blank">Attachment</a> is defined as the affectional tie between two people. It begins with the bond between the infant and mother. This bond becomes internally representative of how the child will form relationships with the world. Bowlby stated “the initial relationship between self and others serves as blueprints for all future relationships.” (Bowlby, 1975)</p><p></p><p>Attachment Disorder is defined as the condition in which individuals have difficulty forming lasting relationships. They often show nearly a complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate with others. They typically fail to develop a conscience and do not learn to trust. They do not allow people to be in control of them due to this trust issue. This damage is done by being abused or physically or emotionally separated from one primary caregiver during the first 3 years of life. “If a child is not attached–does not form a loving bond with the mother–he does not develop an attachment to the rest of mankind. The unattached child literally does not have a stake in humanity” (Magid & McKelvey 1988). They do not think and feel like a normal person. “At the core of the unattached is a deep-seated rage, far beyond normal anger. This rage is suppressed in their psyche. Now we all have some degree of rage, but the rage of psychopaths is that born of unfulfilled needs as infants. Incomprehensible pain is forever locked in their souls, because of the abandonment they felt as infants.” (Magid & McKelvey 1988) “There is an inability to love or feel guilty. There is no conscience. Their inability to enter into any relationship makes treatment or even education impossible.” (Bowlby 1955). Some infamous people with Attachment Disorder that did not get help in time: Saddam Hussein, Edgar Allen Poe, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Ted Bundy. One famous person with Attachment Disorder who did get help in time (in 1887!) and became one of the greatest humanitarians the US has ever produced is Helen Keller.</p><p></p><p>Attachment Disorder Symptoms</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Superficially engaging & charming</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of eye contact on parents’ terms</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Not affectionate on parents’ terms (not ‘cuddly’)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Destructive to self, others and material things (‘accident prone’)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Cruelty to animals</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lying about the obvious (‘crazy’ lying)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Stealing</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Learning Lags</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of cause-and-effect thinking</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of conscience</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abnormal eating patterns</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Poor peer relationships</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Preoccupation with fire</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Preoccupation with blood & gore</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Persistent nonsense questions & chatter</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Inappropriately demanding & clingy</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abnormal speech patterns</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Triangulation of adults</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">False allegations of abuse</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Presumptive entitlement issues</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Parents appear hostile and angry</li> </ul><p>Causes</p><p></p><p>Any of the following conditions occurring to a child during the first 36 months of life puts them at risk:</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Unwanted pregnancy</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Pre-birth exposure to trauma, drugs or alcohol</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Neglect (not answering the baby’s cries for help)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Separation from primary caregiver (i.e. illness or death of mother, or severe illness or hospitalization of the baby, or adoption)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">On-going pain such as colic, hernia or many ear infections</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Changing day cares or using providers who don’t do bonding</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Moms with chronic depression</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Several moves or placements (foster care, failed adoptions)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Caring for baby on a timed schedule or other self-centered parenting</li> </ul><p></p><p>I would read books by Nancy Thomas. She is GREAT and offers hope and potential healing.</p><p></p><p><img src="http://stats.wordpress.com/g.gif?host=www.attachment.org&rand=0.3314333706710506&v=ext&j=1%3A2.9&blog=49613334&post=43&tz=-6&ref=http%3A//www.google.com/url%3Fsa%3Dt%26rct%3Dj%26q%3D%26esrc%3Ds%26source%3Dweb%26cd%3D6%26sqi%3D2%26ved%3D0CFYQFjAF%26url%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.attachment.org%252Freactive-attachment-disorder%252F%26ei%3D75JAU9iyMOrt2QWjzYCoBQ%26usg%3DAFQjCNGpjlfZpC9WlNwDctrkgjWJjK3jOw%26sig2%3DgYh5zFrBFhXpMLN5VyOWzA%26bvm%3Dbv.64125504%2Cbs.1%2Cd.cWc" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 623775, member: 1550"] After what happened to us, when I see somebody post with a child who seems not just "differently wired" but dangerous, I try to warn them to heed what they see. Most certainly this child is like he is because of all the garbage in his life, same as the child we adopted. However, that doesn't make him any less dangerous. Since he is willing to pick on vulnerable adults, like his grandmother, and maybe even hurt her?? he would not have much trouble transitioning to your children and even children in the neighborhood. I decided to post the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) article so that anyone can read it without going to a link. Maybe it will enlighten a parent who is living with a dangerous minor child. Check the symptoms below. You have very hard decisions to make and I wish you all the luck in the world. Gentle hugs to you, a sane and rational person in a very insane situation. Been there, have the tee-shirt! [SIZE=6][B]Reactive Attachment Disorder[/B][/SIZE] [URL='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory']Attachment[/URL] is defined as the affectional tie between two people. It begins with the bond between the infant and mother. This bond becomes internally representative of how the child will form relationships with the world. Bowlby stated “the initial relationship between self and others serves as blueprints for all future relationships.” (Bowlby, 1975) Attachment Disorder is defined as the condition in which individuals have difficulty forming lasting relationships. They often show nearly a complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate with others. They typically fail to develop a conscience and do not learn to trust. They do not allow people to be in control of them due to this trust issue. This damage is done by being abused or physically or emotionally separated from one primary caregiver during the first 3 years of life. “If a child is not attached–does not form a loving bond with the mother–he does not develop an attachment to the rest of mankind. The unattached child literally does not have a stake in humanity” (Magid & McKelvey 1988). They do not think and feel like a normal person. “At the core of the unattached is a deep-seated rage, far beyond normal anger. This rage is suppressed in their psyche. Now we all have some degree of rage, but the rage of psychopaths is that born of unfulfilled needs as infants. Incomprehensible pain is forever locked in their souls, because of the abandonment they felt as infants.” (Magid & McKelvey 1988) “There is an inability to love or feel guilty. There is no conscience. Their inability to enter into any relationship makes treatment or even education impossible.” (Bowlby 1955). Some infamous people with Attachment Disorder that did not get help in time: Saddam Hussein, Edgar Allen Poe, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Ted Bundy. One famous person with Attachment Disorder who did get help in time (in 1887!) and became one of the greatest humanitarians the US has ever produced is Helen Keller. Attachment Disorder Symptoms [LIST] [*]Superficially engaging & charming [*]Lack of eye contact on parents’ terms [*]Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers [*]Not affectionate on parents’ terms (not ‘cuddly’) [*]Destructive to self, others and material things (‘accident prone’) [*]Cruelty to animals [*]Lying about the obvious (‘crazy’ lying) [*]Stealing [*]No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive) [*]Learning Lags [*]Lack of cause-and-effect thinking [*]Lack of conscience [*]Abnormal eating patterns [*]Poor peer relationships [*]Preoccupation with fire [*]Preoccupation with blood & gore [*]Persistent nonsense questions & chatter [*]Inappropriately demanding & clingy [*]Abnormal speech patterns [*]Triangulation of adults [*]False allegations of abuse [*]Presumptive entitlement issues [*]Parents appear hostile and angry [/LIST] Causes Any of the following conditions occurring to a child during the first 36 months of life puts them at risk: [LIST] [*]Unwanted pregnancy [*]Pre-birth exposure to trauma, drugs or alcohol [*]Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) [*]Neglect (not answering the baby’s cries for help) [*]Separation from primary caregiver (i.e. illness or death of mother, or severe illness or hospitalization of the baby, or adoption) [*]On-going pain such as colic, hernia or many ear infections [*]Changing day cares or using providers who don’t do bonding [*]Moms with chronic depression [*]Several moves or placements (foster care, failed adoptions) [*]Caring for baby on a timed schedule or other self-centered parenting [/LIST] I would read books by Nancy Thomas. She is GREAT and offers hope and potential healing. [IMG]http://stats.wordpress.com/g.gif?host=www.attachment.org&rand=0.3314333706710506&v=ext&j=1%3A2.9&blog=49613334&post=43&tz=-6&ref=http%3A//www.google.com/url%3Fsa%3Dt%26rct%3Dj%26q%3D%26esrc%3Ds%26source%3Dweb%26cd%3D6%26sqi%3D2%26ved%3D0CFYQFjAF%26url%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.attachment.org%252Freactive-attachment-disorder%252F%26ei%3D75JAU9iyMOrt2QWjzYCoBQ%26usg%3DAFQjCNGpjlfZpC9WlNwDctrkgjWJjK3jOw%26sig2%3DgYh5zFrBFhXpMLN5VyOWzA%26bvm%3Dbv.64125504%2Cbs.1%2Cd.cWc[/IMG] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Scared to death
Top