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school has backed off.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 200357" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you're prepared to use the media, keep it in reserve for a last resort.</p><p></p><p>If you feel the school is likely to fight you on IEP or 504, keep that knowledge at the back of your mind but try to not let it show in your communications with the school.</p><p></p><p>The way to go - keep your communications polite but firm. Try to get their responses in writing - a mob who are trying to avoid responsibility will NOT put their responses in writing, they are more likely to call you instead. In my files I have reams of letters I wrote, and NONE received from the officials. None. I do have lots of notes taken during the phone calls they made - most important that you take detailed notes of every call they make to you, from here on. Date the call, if you can remember words exactly (yours or theirs) then put them in double quote marks, also if you can get it, write the name of the person you're talking to.</p><p>Keep it on file.</p><p></p><p>Be prepared at all times to take your notes. The last time I had to do this, I was out shopping and the call came in on my mobile phone. I slipped into a nearby shop (to get away from the mall musak enough to hear) and grabbed some medical reports from my bag and the only writing tool I could find - a lip pencil! When I got home I transcribed my notes. Being able to quote them has been very valuable.</p><p></p><p>A school which is trying to avoid spending money will keep trying to obstruct. They win only when parents cave in - a lot of parents do, because if they apply for something and the school says no, parents assume the school knows better (they ARE the professional educators, after all).</p><p></p><p>Often you will win just be continuing to appeal. They're not used to persistent parents.</p><p></p><p>So you may not need to use the media - this time. Like any big weapon, it is most effective in its non-use.</p><p></p><p>As for your child being penalised for your activism - find out the legal situation in your area. Plan ahead so you can know to quote the right legislation immediately you need to. don't go in sooner - it will be like a surfer trying to catch a wave who paddles off too early and then finds himself getting dumped. You have to time your fast paddle to catch the peak of the wave.</p><p></p><p>I managed to pull off a major coup when my kids were little - I had used political clout to get what I wanted, since I was being blocked by our education system at state level. I actually did say to the school staff, "I know I have made some enemies by going over your heads. I know a number of you do not think I am stable. So please bear this in mind - if I am unstable and paranoid, then I will react very strongly at even the possibility that any of my children are being disadvantaged in any way by my unpopularity. And as you know, I DO have enough political clout to achieve the impossible. You do not want me to feel I need to use that same political clout to come to the defence of my children. Even if no disadvantage to my children is intended, be prepared for the likelihood that I will take it personally and react to protect my child."</p><p></p><p>At another point - again, only after I had had to insist against strong opposition, I also said, "I am a person who can get a lot of things done and cut through a great deal of red tape. I could use this to the school's advantage. Or not. It's up to you."</p><p></p><p>Despite my use of strong words, I am a very firm believer in cooperation with the school where possible - I emphasise that all my efforts are as part of the Learning Team for my child, that we all have to work together to get results here; but the child should not be disadvantaged due to disability. If the school comes back with concerns that providing a high level of support discriminates against the other children, you fall back on "all children should have equal access to education - due to disability, this child does not have equal access; all this support is designed to reduce the inequity, we're not there yet. The child is still disadvantaged compared to the others in the class." Be prepared to produce medical reports to back you up.</p><p></p><p>Schools were not designed to do a lot of the roles which have been thrust on them. A lot of older staff particularly, are fighting the changes that have come in. "These children should be somewhere more appropriate" is a common phrase I've heard. They have been shocked when I have told them that SCHOOL is the "appropriate place" and that in a lot of cases, there IS nowhere more suitable. We HAVE to make school fit the child because the child cannot make the adjustment the other way, and there often is no alternative placement.</p><p></p><p>YOu need to be able to see the school's point of view, even if you disagree with it. Because if you can, then it is easier to argue your case (especially if you can plan ahead to counter their arguments).</p><p></p><p>Frankly, it's like handling a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I've actually used the Explosive Child" methods in my dealings with school officials. I privately consider large organisations, especially our education system, to be autistic. Poor social skills, communication has to be spelt out clearly and unambiguously, they are rule followers but they also write what they believe to be the rules to fit the situations they observe. And they do not cope well with change, or challenge. Too sudden a change or too different a challenge and they go into meltdown.</p><p></p><p>Treat them accordingly and you will have more success. And ultimately, what you want is success. Hopefully you won't have to rub their noses in the dirt to get it. It's best not to, if you don't have to - because you might need to do that later, and if you do it too often it doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 200357, member: 1991"] If you're prepared to use the media, keep it in reserve for a last resort. If you feel the school is likely to fight you on IEP or 504, keep that knowledge at the back of your mind but try to not let it show in your communications with the school. The way to go - keep your communications polite but firm. Try to get their responses in writing - a mob who are trying to avoid responsibility will NOT put their responses in writing, they are more likely to call you instead. In my files I have reams of letters I wrote, and NONE received from the officials. None. I do have lots of notes taken during the phone calls they made - most important that you take detailed notes of every call they make to you, from here on. Date the call, if you can remember words exactly (yours or theirs) then put them in double quote marks, also if you can get it, write the name of the person you're talking to. Keep it on file. Be prepared at all times to take your notes. The last time I had to do this, I was out shopping and the call came in on my mobile phone. I slipped into a nearby shop (to get away from the mall musak enough to hear) and grabbed some medical reports from my bag and the only writing tool I could find - a lip pencil! When I got home I transcribed my notes. Being able to quote them has been very valuable. A school which is trying to avoid spending money will keep trying to obstruct. They win only when parents cave in - a lot of parents do, because if they apply for something and the school says no, parents assume the school knows better (they ARE the professional educators, after all). Often you will win just be continuing to appeal. They're not used to persistent parents. So you may not need to use the media - this time. Like any big weapon, it is most effective in its non-use. As for your child being penalised for your activism - find out the legal situation in your area. Plan ahead so you can know to quote the right legislation immediately you need to. don't go in sooner - it will be like a surfer trying to catch a wave who paddles off too early and then finds himself getting dumped. You have to time your fast paddle to catch the peak of the wave. I managed to pull off a major coup when my kids were little - I had used political clout to get what I wanted, since I was being blocked by our education system at state level. I actually did say to the school staff, "I know I have made some enemies by going over your heads. I know a number of you do not think I am stable. So please bear this in mind - if I am unstable and paranoid, then I will react very strongly at even the possibility that any of my children are being disadvantaged in any way by my unpopularity. And as you know, I DO have enough political clout to achieve the impossible. You do not want me to feel I need to use that same political clout to come to the defence of my children. Even if no disadvantage to my children is intended, be prepared for the likelihood that I will take it personally and react to protect my child." At another point - again, only after I had had to insist against strong opposition, I also said, "I am a person who can get a lot of things done and cut through a great deal of red tape. I could use this to the school's advantage. Or not. It's up to you." Despite my use of strong words, I am a very firm believer in cooperation with the school where possible - I emphasise that all my efforts are as part of the Learning Team for my child, that we all have to work together to get results here; but the child should not be disadvantaged due to disability. If the school comes back with concerns that providing a high level of support discriminates against the other children, you fall back on "all children should have equal access to education - due to disability, this child does not have equal access; all this support is designed to reduce the inequity, we're not there yet. The child is still disadvantaged compared to the others in the class." Be prepared to produce medical reports to back you up. Schools were not designed to do a lot of the roles which have been thrust on them. A lot of older staff particularly, are fighting the changes that have come in. "These children should be somewhere more appropriate" is a common phrase I've heard. They have been shocked when I have told them that SCHOOL is the "appropriate place" and that in a lot of cases, there IS nowhere more suitable. We HAVE to make school fit the child because the child cannot make the adjustment the other way, and there often is no alternative placement. YOu need to be able to see the school's point of view, even if you disagree with it. Because if you can, then it is easier to argue your case (especially if you can plan ahead to counter their arguments). Frankly, it's like handling a difficult child. I've actually used the Explosive Child" methods in my dealings with school officials. I privately consider large organisations, especially our education system, to be autistic. Poor social skills, communication has to be spelt out clearly and unambiguously, they are rule followers but they also write what they believe to be the rules to fit the situations they observe. And they do not cope well with change, or challenge. Too sudden a change or too different a challenge and they go into meltdown. Treat them accordingly and you will have more success. And ultimately, what you want is success. Hopefully you won't have to rub their noses in the dirt to get it. It's best not to, if you don't have to - because you might need to do that later, and if you do it too often it doesn't work. Marg [/QUOTE]
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