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School says there's nothing wrong with difficult child 1
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 281974" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I strongly disagree with worrying about an adversarial relationship. The school districts try very hard to deny services. How are we supposed to be? Compliant about our children's failure?</p><p>I have NEVER found that schools retaliate when hub and I reach higher up (like to the Dept. of Public Education) to get our children appropriate help. Never. If anything, they tread carefully around us, treat our kids better than kids whose parents are afraid or appear not to care, and go out of their way to give our kids the services they need. The way our schools work in the US, you ARE at odds. They don't want to pay for services and you want them. If you hire a free advocate and involve the State Dept. of Public Ed, with folks who really do care about how our kids are achieving, you can achieve the help you need without fighting pointlessly in your own school district--all of the people who are on the same page and wink at each other. No school district is so stupid as to tick off the State Board of Education, who allots the money for it. If you have to go to mediation, go! School districts don't like that because it puts them under close inspection and looks very bad for them. And, if they are denying services, they should look bad--you are not only helping YOUR child, but others. Our school district backed off from mediation and suddenly accomodated our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son in every way we had asked, and were VERY nice about it. They love our son--truly do--and there has been no backlash. That would be stupid--we'd complain to the State Board again, and they know it. And we don't HAVE an adversarial relationship just because we prevailed. We work hard with the educators and I can tell that they respect us for fighting for our child--far more than they respect those who back off and let themselves get steamrolled over. There are agendas at play here. Those who fight the hardest will get the best results, and you don't have to do it in a hateful way. The school districts expect us to give into them and save them money, but respect us when we don't. And our kids are actually treated better than those kids whose parents lay down and give up. How do I know? I started out doing it the "let's be nice" way and that got me nothing except a daughter who is now 24 and can still hardly read. I'm sorry I didn't get an Advocate for her (I didn't know about them at the time) and, if necessary, gotten the State Dept. of Ed involved (didn't know I could anad was afraid they'd take it out on her). I kept being told "she's a little too capable to qualify for services." Baloney. She has severe dyslexia.</p><p>Fight for your child. Your child can only get as much help as YOU are willing to get him. The school districts do not care and will not give in unless they are told they have to. Also, outside providers, such as private NeuroPsychs, are not the "go to" people to contact. They don't care about them because they are not the people who allot the funds for their school district. Yes, it's all about $$$. Go to their "bosses" so to speak. And the Superintendant of the school is not the boss of the school district. He is the head of it and is often the chief Winker-In-Command. If he fails to deliver, go to HIS boss--the State Dept. of Public Education.</p><p>Well, off the soap box, but wanted to dispell that myth.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 281974, member: 1550"] I strongly disagree with worrying about an adversarial relationship. The school districts try very hard to deny services. How are we supposed to be? Compliant about our children's failure? I have NEVER found that schools retaliate when hub and I reach higher up (like to the Dept. of Public Education) to get our children appropriate help. Never. If anything, they tread carefully around us, treat our kids better than kids whose parents are afraid or appear not to care, and go out of their way to give our kids the services they need. The way our schools work in the US, you ARE at odds. They don't want to pay for services and you want them. If you hire a free advocate and involve the State Dept. of Public Ed, with folks who really do care about how our kids are achieving, you can achieve the help you need without fighting pointlessly in your own school district--all of the people who are on the same page and wink at each other. No school district is so stupid as to tick off the State Board of Education, who allots the money for it. If you have to go to mediation, go! School districts don't like that because it puts them under close inspection and looks very bad for them. And, if they are denying services, they should look bad--you are not only helping YOUR child, but others. Our school district backed off from mediation and suddenly accomodated our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son in every way we had asked, and were VERY nice about it. They love our son--truly do--and there has been no backlash. That would be stupid--we'd complain to the State Board again, and they know it. And we don't HAVE an adversarial relationship just because we prevailed. We work hard with the educators and I can tell that they respect us for fighting for our child--far more than they respect those who back off and let themselves get steamrolled over. There are agendas at play here. Those who fight the hardest will get the best results, and you don't have to do it in a hateful way. The school districts expect us to give into them and save them money, but respect us when we don't. And our kids are actually treated better than those kids whose parents lay down and give up. How do I know? I started out doing it the "let's be nice" way and that got me nothing except a daughter who is now 24 and can still hardly read. I'm sorry I didn't get an Advocate for her (I didn't know about them at the time) and, if necessary, gotten the State Dept. of Ed involved (didn't know I could anad was afraid they'd take it out on her). I kept being told "she's a little too capable to qualify for services." Baloney. She has severe dyslexia. Fight for your child. Your child can only get as much help as YOU are willing to get him. The school districts do not care and will not give in unless they are told they have to. Also, outside providers, such as private NeuroPsychs, are not the "go to" people to contact. They don't care about them because they are not the people who allot the funds for their school district. Yes, it's all about $$$. Go to their "bosses" so to speak. And the Superintendant of the school is not the boss of the school district. He is the head of it and is often the chief Winker-In-Command. If he fails to deliver, go to HIS boss--the State Dept. of Public Education. Well, off the soap box, but wanted to dispell that myth.:raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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