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General Parenting
SD response to Legal Advocate letter/requests.....
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 515513" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I am told the ed. aids were certified. How stupid they had them take the other kids out of the room and left the non certified people there. Where I worked we were all trained yearly. And our insurance made it clear (along with CPI regulations) that it had to be done yearly or we would be liable so there was no chance that we couldn't be certified. So I have heard directly from a (different) school district what their policies are and I can't imagine that this district isn't in big talks with their legal dept over all of this. Trying now to scramble and get people certified. </p><p></p><p>They are not my problem anymore. I am going to fight for Q then once he is settled I will take them on. Both of us are stressed and it makes daily living harder because I am not as patient as I usually am. He is so stressed and anxious that he is pushing the limits and stuck in every thought in his brain. He is actually saying things like I am at my limit, my brain feels like it is going to explode, etc. It is the one reason I might be more willing to let him be in a less than satisfactory program because for him, just like at his old middle school, even when not ideal he is so much more relaxed having a routine that matches his expectations of what his day should look like. </p><p></p><p>For the last few days, his obsessive has switched from worry about God to worry about snakes. Asking about every big snake, do we have them in our state? Can they actually eat me? Isn't it creepy when they open their mouths really wide and their eyes look scary? Can I touch them when they are with their owner at a fair? Then they wont bite or eat me. How do they do that? What about the ones that have poison (can you tell we just had this convo a few minutes ago AGAIN??) </p><p></p><p>He went outside to play yesterday, I stayed out to make sure things went ok, and they actually went pretty well but at the end of the evening he refused to come in. NEVER got rude with words or aggressive, so there I am torn. HE wont come in but he IS controlling his behavior. He just so badly wanted to be with the others who were out enjoying this beautiful 60 degree MARCH day. But I am hormonal and had given him a much longer time than we originally planned with the agreement that if he did not follow the plan then no more going out this week. So, when he made that choice.... I stayed totally cool and he even came and took his medications at the right time. But when he asked I said, it is fine that you are having a good time, but you made your choice. We are sticking to our agreement. He came in at about 9:30 and by then I had all of the stations re-locked. I had been crying on and off for hours. I know it is hormonal because I woke with two pimples and I never get them unless it is that time. I am definately going to the doctor to see if I can get some relief for this because I am feeling over a totally much lower stress situaiton than the thousands that I typically handle with him, that he needs to live in a residential placement. Obviously it is my mind set that is not right here since I can typically handle dozens of issues way more intense. Partly it is the reality that there is no way I could change his mind any longer (I used to be able to) without force. And so I have to either do what I did and wait him out, which now that he knows the consequences wont make it BETTER next time, it will cause him more anxiety and attempts to get out of it--thru intimidation or whatever--when he gets stuck. I am trying to avoid that by focusing on his skill building.... he has even on h is own said, but I know I didn't follow your directions, did I do better with my words though? I said YES absolutely and for that you WILL get to earn watching your NASCAR race just as we planned. He asked about two other shows and I said for sure those were on the table because he made great choices about taking his medications and not being aggressive with words or actions. I want to focus on that not what he has lost. I feel like our summer this year will look very different. Last year we were with the neighborhood, enjoying everything. This year I fear we will be hermits. so scary. I am not doing that in his best interest maybe...maybe out of my being too stressed to risk him offending people any more. I am hoping I can get a hold of my hormones and settle this school thing, and then I will have the energy and drive to work on the summer social piece again. Would you guys do a do-over or would you stick to your guns???</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 515513, member: 12886"] I am told the ed. aids were certified. How stupid they had them take the other kids out of the room and left the non certified people there. Where I worked we were all trained yearly. And our insurance made it clear (along with CPI regulations) that it had to be done yearly or we would be liable so there was no chance that we couldn't be certified. So I have heard directly from a (different) school district what their policies are and I can't imagine that this district isn't in big talks with their legal dept over all of this. Trying now to scramble and get people certified. They are not my problem anymore. I am going to fight for Q then once he is settled I will take them on. Both of us are stressed and it makes daily living harder because I am not as patient as I usually am. He is so stressed and anxious that he is pushing the limits and stuck in every thought in his brain. He is actually saying things like I am at my limit, my brain feels like it is going to explode, etc. It is the one reason I might be more willing to let him be in a less than satisfactory program because for him, just like at his old middle school, even when not ideal he is so much more relaxed having a routine that matches his expectations of what his day should look like. For the last few days, his obsessive has switched from worry about God to worry about snakes. Asking about every big snake, do we have them in our state? Can they actually eat me? Isn't it creepy when they open their mouths really wide and their eyes look scary? Can I touch them when they are with their owner at a fair? Then they wont bite or eat me. How do they do that? What about the ones that have poison (can you tell we just had this convo a few minutes ago AGAIN??) He went outside to play yesterday, I stayed out to make sure things went ok, and they actually went pretty well but at the end of the evening he refused to come in. NEVER got rude with words or aggressive, so there I am torn. HE wont come in but he IS controlling his behavior. He just so badly wanted to be with the others who were out enjoying this beautiful 60 degree MARCH day. But I am hormonal and had given him a much longer time than we originally planned with the agreement that if he did not follow the plan then no more going out this week. So, when he made that choice.... I stayed totally cool and he even came and took his medications at the right time. But when he asked I said, it is fine that you are having a good time, but you made your choice. We are sticking to our agreement. He came in at about 9:30 and by then I had all of the stations re-locked. I had been crying on and off for hours. I know it is hormonal because I woke with two pimples and I never get them unless it is that time. I am definately going to the doctor to see if I can get some relief for this because I am feeling over a totally much lower stress situaiton than the thousands that I typically handle with him, that he needs to live in a residential placement. Obviously it is my mind set that is not right here since I can typically handle dozens of issues way more intense. Partly it is the reality that there is no way I could change his mind any longer (I used to be able to) without force. And so I have to either do what I did and wait him out, which now that he knows the consequences wont make it BETTER next time, it will cause him more anxiety and attempts to get out of it--thru intimidation or whatever--when he gets stuck. I am trying to avoid that by focusing on his skill building.... he has even on h is own said, but I know I didn't follow your directions, did I do better with my words though? I said YES absolutely and for that you WILL get to earn watching your NASCAR race just as we planned. He asked about two other shows and I said for sure those were on the table because he made great choices about taking his medications and not being aggressive with words or actions. I want to focus on that not what he has lost. I feel like our summer this year will look very different. Last year we were with the neighborhood, enjoying everything. This year I fear we will be hermits. so scary. I am not doing that in his best interest maybe...maybe out of my being too stressed to risk him offending people any more. I am hoping I can get a hold of my hormones and settle this school thing, and then I will have the energy and drive to work on the summer social piece again. Would you guys do a do-over or would you stick to your guns??? [/QUOTE]
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