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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 261244" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>Hi everyone I'm new here but have been on other sites similar to this one. Over the years I have tried several different methods of discipline and with my other 2 kids they have been successful. The problem is with my 14yo she doesn't seem to be willing to go along with anything I've tried so far. She absolutely refuses to "own" any behavior she does, and there have been lots of them - she frequently steals or lies and has tendency to rage often with no obvious triggers. Her retaliation to consequences is often worse then what she was being punished for; example if tell her no tv she will throw the tv at you then follow up with everything she can get her hands on - tell her she can't go out and SMASH goes the window and it will probably be about 6 hours before you see her again. Many people have informed me that I named the wrong kid Angel.</p><p></p><p>Explosive Child method - because she shifts gears so fast that there isn't time to do any collaberate problem solving, its like everything is basket A or C with her and A basket stuff often turns into me just keeping her busy waiting for the police & ambulance to arrive.</p><p></p><p>Reward programs often fail as she will rip charts down, steal her sisters tokens or let her sister earn the reward then take it from her (usually by force)</p><p></p><p>Blanket method helps some but when needed most she won't use it - when she feels that fight or flight thing coming to throw a blanket down and sit on it - if she's on her blanket no one comes anywhere near her, speaks or makes eye contact</p><p></p><p>The most success I've had is using a method that exotic animal trainers use - reward the behaviors I like and ignore the ones I don't (but it's impossible to ignore a child who's swinging a bat at sister's head) & incompatible behavior - example kid is getting under foot while trying to cook so set a bowl of chips across the kitchen, she then gets out of my way because she wants the chips</p><p></p><p>I've only been here a couple days but from what I've read, I believe you all know more about this stuff then any behavior expert does so if have anything in your ammo pile you think will help - PLEASE SHARE! About the child behavior expert we tried one of those; the 2nd time we met - Angel whooped her and she refused to come back.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/stopglass.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":stopglass:" title="stopglass :stopglass:" data-shortname=":stopglass:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 261244, member: 7170"] Hi everyone I'm new here but have been on other sites similar to this one. Over the years I have tried several different methods of discipline and with my other 2 kids they have been successful. The problem is with my 14yo she doesn't seem to be willing to go along with anything I've tried so far. She absolutely refuses to "own" any behavior she does, and there have been lots of them - she frequently steals or lies and has tendency to rage often with no obvious triggers. Her retaliation to consequences is often worse then what she was being punished for; example if tell her no tv she will throw the tv at you then follow up with everything she can get her hands on - tell her she can't go out and SMASH goes the window and it will probably be about 6 hours before you see her again. Many people have informed me that I named the wrong kid Angel. Explosive Child method - because she shifts gears so fast that there isn't time to do any collaberate problem solving, its like everything is basket A or C with her and A basket stuff often turns into me just keeping her busy waiting for the police & ambulance to arrive. Reward programs often fail as she will rip charts down, steal her sisters tokens or let her sister earn the reward then take it from her (usually by force) Blanket method helps some but when needed most she won't use it - when she feels that fight or flight thing coming to throw a blanket down and sit on it - if she's on her blanket no one comes anywhere near her, speaks or makes eye contact The most success I've had is using a method that exotic animal trainers use - reward the behaviors I like and ignore the ones I don't (but it's impossible to ignore a child who's swinging a bat at sister's head) & incompatible behavior - example kid is getting under foot while trying to cook so set a bowl of chips across the kitchen, she then gets out of my way because she wants the chips I've only been here a couple days but from what I've read, I believe you all know more about this stuff then any behavior expert does so if have anything in your ammo pile you think will help - PLEASE SHARE! About the child behavior expert we tried one of those; the 2nd time we met - Angel whooped her and she refused to come back. :stopglass: [/QUOTE]
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