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Parent Emeritus
Second time around parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 102406" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>I understand your pain in a similar way as a single parent. I watch my son constantly yearn for his dad's attention and never get it, and then step in, and try to be both people to him. Of course, we as the loving, bonded parent, want to be there for them, and fill that gap that the other parent has created - but the resentment can build, deeply, towards the person that is supposed to be doing their part. In fact, I do not hold grudges, and generally try to live a fairly positive life, but this is the one area, where resentment has absolutely rubbed a hole in my soul. Seriously. </p><p></p><p>I guess, all we can do is be thankful, someone is there in these kiddos lives to fill the gap. And that person is us.</p><p></p><p>I also think, that in retrospect, I have tried too hard to wash away the pain, for my son's void. I think I have created blurred boundaries, and not allowed him to breathe though the pain. Sometimes we have to accept that life is really really hard, even for our kids. Yet, most kids, in the end, are stronger, deeper, more introspective, because of hardships, whatever they may be.</p><p></p><p>Good post, good to think and ponder these things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 102406, member: 3301"] I understand your pain in a similar way as a single parent. I watch my son constantly yearn for his dad's attention and never get it, and then step in, and try to be both people to him. Of course, we as the loving, bonded parent, want to be there for them, and fill that gap that the other parent has created - but the resentment can build, deeply, towards the person that is supposed to be doing their part. In fact, I do not hold grudges, and generally try to live a fairly positive life, but this is the one area, where resentment has absolutely rubbed a hole in my soul. Seriously. I guess, all we can do is be thankful, someone is there in these kiddos lives to fill the gap. And that person is us. I also think, that in retrospect, I have tried too hard to wash away the pain, for my son's void. I think I have created blurred boundaries, and not allowed him to breathe though the pain. Sometimes we have to accept that life is really really hard, even for our kids. Yet, most kids, in the end, are stronger, deeper, more introspective, because of hardships, whatever they may be. Good post, good to think and ponder these things. [/QUOTE]
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